28

To say that today, January 28th, is a significant day would be a vast understatement. Today marks one year since doctors found the blob in my dad’s head and one year since my dad and I wrote our first blog post titled “Tumor Humor”. Today marks one month since December 28th, 2013, the day of my dad’s “graduation” (if you will). And today has aptly been declared “Loren Nancarrow Day” in San Diego.

The number 28 has come to us recurrently this past year — which is fitting, really. In numerology, the number 28 creates the number 1 — if you believe in that sorta stuff (we certainly do).  Let me share with you a little bit about the number 1:

The 1 is a doer, a powerful force that produces results and does not allow anything or anyone to limit its’ potential. The 1 is always in the forefront: a spearpoint directing and leading others. The shape of the number 1, just like the shape of all other symbols, reflects its meaning; it walks upright with pride and purpose. Strong, determined, unwavering and with specific goals in mind, the 1 can turn dreams and ideas into reality. 

The 1 grows, transforms and improves in perpetuity, precisely the way Mother Nature does. After all, nature’s primal force and most basic building block is the number 1. Nature knows no mercy and its’ cruelty can be heartbreaking. However, it knows balance and gives life indiscriminately and without judgment. It is, if you haven’t guessed, the most masculine of all numbers. There is a certain quality, a sense of honor and responsibility that demands our respect, and it has a sense of justice that cannot be denied.

So, in honor of this 28th day, I went back through our blog and read each of my dad’s posts for the first time since we wrote them. I didn’t realize how hard it would be for me — but what I found, without a doubt, was worth finding. Here, on January 28th, are 28 memorable quotes from my dad that can teach us all a little something about living:

1. My strength will come from humor—not worry.

2. I find wonder in sunrises and sunsets, the relationship between a bee and a flower makes my eyes wide.

3. The workings of this world mystify me daily.

4. I’m not giving up and never will.

5. There is no time to dwell on the negative.

6. [Brain cancer]…is not something I asked for but I accept it and I see it as my latest journey. My senses are sharper, my appreciation is deeper and each experience holds more wonder.

7. I just want to offer a few words of encouragement:  If you ever find yourself suddenly faced with this seemingly torturous medical sentence—don’t sweat it. You can do this!

8. Get out there and speak truth to power. Our words and pictures are still the most powerful tool we have to make a difference.

9. I don’t know how this chapter of my life will end. I’m hopeful and I’m treating it much as I’ve treated other challenges in my life—with hard work where it’s needed and plenty of jokes where they’re not.

10. While I hate cancer, I’m so happy that it has given me a chance to learn from its’ survivors.

11.  Turns out I liked being informed of my statistical odds. I appreciate the sense of urgency it provides. It reminds me that there’s a lot of life left to live.

12. Everything seems new.

13. The moment I’m living in now is what I’ve got.

14.  I want keep this good feeling going.

15. I’m obsessed with having a good time.

16. Peace and compost, San Diego.

17. I’ve got man stuff to do—rattlesnakes to wrangle, fires to build and facial hair to grow.

18. No panicking allowed, these are the easy times.

19. I’m doing my best to remember that others have it far worse

20. If you’ve got cancer: DON’T FREAKING GIVE UP.

21. I’ve been so impressed by all of the survivors I’ve met in recent months. Thank you for teaching me how to be strong.

22. There’s something I’ve been feeling lately — it’s a feeling of inclusion, of belonging to a group of badass people fighting for their lives…I’m inspired by my teammates. I’m inspired their energy, their drive and their reluctance to give up.

23. I’m wishing strength for you in your own personal battles with illness and all of life’s other lemons.

24. As I transform from this world, I hope to be thrilled by what I experience next.

25. Now I’ve come to the next road in my journey, where I’m learning acceptance, and to be at peace with the understanding that my time is extremely limited.

26. Happiness lies in discovering your passions and exploring them fiercely…Wherever they are, whatever they may be, seek out your passions and cultivate them.

27. The most important lesson I’ve learned throughout all of this, is that it is far better to do good for others, than to do good for oneself.

28. I believe that life is energy and energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only change forms. And whatever form I take on next, I just hope my connection to those I love will remain.

Well Dad, I feel a connection to you whenever I look at the ocean or see a bird in flight. I feel a connection when I drive your car, when I take Django for a walk and when I wear your t-shirts to bed at night. I feel you in the kitchen, at our Starbucks down the street and every time I hear your favorite songs on the radio. And I certainly feel connected to you today.

HAPPY LOREN NANCARROW DAY, SAN DIEGO.

xoxo

Hannah Jane

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88 comments on “28
  1. Just read this blog of Loren’s again, because it’s well worth a second look. And again, with
    tears in my eyes, because your Dad was so touching and you, at the end, Hannah– You have a lifetime of stored-up memories, to keep you company and remember your Dad with.
    He lives with you still. I’m sorry, you can’t touch him right now. But there will come a time…….
    In between now and then, just keep doing what you’re doing. From my view, you’re doing just fine, kiddo!

  2. Don Daniels says:

    Hi Hannah: we have never met but like many others I am a big fan of your father. My wife and I met your parents at our home in Rancho Santa Fe in 2002 for a benefit for the Rancho coastal Humane Society. They treated us like people they had known for many many years as he did many other people and this is what made your folks so special. I think your blog is very emotional and I thank you for sharing it with us. Is inspiring me as I fight my battle with ALS. I look at the three books your father autograph for us and I smile. Best wishes Hannah. Don Daniels.

  3. […] Center your night around music and dance. Help celebrate the life of the late Loren Nancarrow and take your loved-one to Belly Up Tavern on February 9, 2014, featuring The Highwayman Show and […]

  4. Jim Varner says:

    The best of the best. Your Dad looked and foresaw much like years back my dearest friend did. His last blog added the missing chapters to Stephen Hawkings attempts to explain the universe. Transcending has been proven and reproven through my career and life experience. Draw strength and peace in this as you clearly are experiencing it too.
    Read 2 then 8 then 28
    Your Dad did his best to light the way and leave you all the peace and comfort in the knowing.

  5. gary and betty stewart says:

    thank you for continuing to share thoughts of love, and encouragement,. your family is such an inspiration to anyone going thru diversity. my niece is battling ovarian cancer and she is an inspiration to us all too. we can only know what they share as to how they handle the situation they are enduring. thank you for all the positive energy even in loss, it is felt. thank you!

  6. Sharlynné Le Doux says:

    I hope to be as strong, inspiring, blessed and gracious as your father, your family and your words when my time comes…I want to be remembered for my enthusiasm, my silly sense of humor and the profound love I freely shared.
    It is inevitable we miss those we lose…whatever the circumstance…it is a gift to love the ones we make memories with…here’s to each person that makes an indelible impression in our lives, upon our hearts and remains in the most precious manner…in our laughter, tears, sweet, touching, inspiring memory.

  7. Randy says:

    Hannah, I had the great privilege to meet and do work for your father. He hired my company to build corral fence at your home. For the two weeks we were at the house he and I interacted in daily conversation. I felt connected…wishing to be half the person he was.

    At the end of the job he was curious why I hadn’t asked him for any down payment up front for the work we had done. I told him that I work on a handshake. He smiled (that famous smile) and said, “Hmmm, old school…I like that”. Again I felt the connection. That was just how he made you feel.

    He was, is and always will be an amazing and inspirational person in my life. I feel fortunate to have met your Dad and will remember him forever.

    My best to you and your family.

    Randy

  8. Alyssa says:

    Wow! Powerful stuff. What a gift you have to see the beauty in the loss.

  9. Such beautiful and heartfelt words Hannah. I love reading your posts. #27 and #28 all the way, everyday of our lives for as long as we are here. Your dad was a wonderful man and you, your beautiful mom, sister and brother are making him proud. I know he is in a beautiful place, smiling and watching his wonderful family continue his great legacy. You are a great writer Hannah and a beautiful person. I pray for peace and strength for all of you. With love and admiration, Linda Garnica

  10. Hannah, That was beautiful! Hugs to you and the family! You and your Dad always had/have amazing words to live by!

  11. Cindi Aguirre says:

    Hannah Jane
    With just reading these little notes from your father I feel inspired. I show photos and speak to new and young drivers on the safety and reckless dangers of driving due to the loss of my daughter. I’m inspired to put all that I have into speaking everywhere and anywhere to get the message out.
    You show me strength and very deep courage within yourself which I gather was and is a family trait. Stay strong young friend My Prayers are with you
    Cindi Aguirre

  12. Andy Casillas Hein says:

    I was saddened not only by our loss of Loren, but also with our loss of connection with you Hannah. Reading your posts not only kept us in touch with your Dad, but taught us how to live in that world. I think of him often, when looking at my garden, guilt at sick plants, yes, Loren, I’ll work on that, but the beauty of flowers and nature as well. Thanks for getting back to us. You’ve been missed. Peace to your whole family.

  13. Elly Dotseth says:

    I’m glad there is an official day to remember your father in his home town. I hope we all continue to follow his lead and take delight in the beauty of our blue planet and each other. Although there are down sides to our life on earth, there is beauty anywhere we look for it.

  14. King W. Freeman says:

    Hannah, Years ago when I lived in “Americas Finest City”, your Dad always stood out as part of its greatness. Little did he know where his life would take him as is true with all of us, yet for whatever reason, he paid attention. Heartbreak can cripple, yet its the inspiration and strength that one gains and shares that becomes the true gift. Life isn’t about what we have, but about what we give and learn to believe through the journey.Millions leave this life every day and we don’t even know their names, yet your Father’s message through the final days of his life are so very important. They’re important, not because of his true charm on a bluff over looking the Pacific, but because he came full circle in his appreciation for life, his family and the people who knew him, even from a distance. His presence has only begun and what he left us is a reason to be better. Some will pay attention and……. some won’t, but for the ones he inspired, we need to make “small differences” everyday. I know your pain, yet its the inspiration that takes us from here…….. that will move us all to greater moments in this life.

  15. From that first early morning I spent on Loren’s Facebook page, before I knew he had gone
    on to Heaven, all of you have been on my heart and in my prayers. It is clear you have taken up residence in my heart and are here to stay. You fill a happy place. May God bless each of you, always

  16. Brad Willis says:

    My dad was imperfect and he’s now been gone for 10 years. Yet, I always feel as if he’s there with me.

    Bet you have the same exact feeling.

  17. Jenny says:

    Thank you for continuing to write your blog, although it must be difficult for you. Your family is such an inspiration; I was sad to think that you may no longer write. Because your dad and your family’s journey through his illness touched so many people, I am glad a day was declared in his honor.

  18. George Milne says:

    HAPPY LOREN NANCARROW DAY! Today I went for a long walk. It was a delightful, sparkling day and on my walk I saw some truly amazing things. When I got home I felt tired and refreshed, as odd as that sounds. I sat down to check my mail and found out it is Loren Nancarrow Day. Having read your blog, and in honor of Loren, I pledge to go for a long walk EVERY January 28 from now on and think of my splendid, glorious, curious, interesting life. Thank you for the nudge.

    Also, I was kind of wishing I was born on the 28th, too and it came as a kind of shock to realize I was born on the 30th. So, that translates to the number 3. I know enough about numerology to know what that means on the Tree of Life, and I was suddenly very pleased with me. I’m a 3. I’m a lucky dog! Of course I have known that for a long, long time, but I had forgotten about it, so thanks, again, for the memory nudge. I am smiling as I write this.

  19. Anonymous says:

    You are quite a remarkable woman, I’m sure your Dad is looking down and smiling :)

  20. Mary says:

    Happy Loren Nancarrow day. I love that they have honored him for Jan 28th forever😊

  21. Sylvia says:

    So touching. So beautiful.

  22. Jeanie says:

    This is so insightful and heartfelt. Your bravery and sharing and insight are so vividly written.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  23. Fran says:

    Hannah. I love reading about your dad. I love reading about your feelings, and his feeling for life. It will forever be with me. I keep wondering how your mother is doing.

  24. Kat O says:

    Thank you for sharing your Dads thoughts and yours. You are truly Loren’s daughter……..you have heart and spirit and the wonderful ability to share…….Your Mom and Dad have done a wonderful job. I attended Loren’s “celebration of life” last month and I thank you and your family for allowing us to share in this amazing moment. What a perfect day…..I know he was there with us all. With your permission, I would like to print out his “28 thoughts” and hang them where I can see them every day, as a reminder of how blessed I am each and every day of my life. God Bless you all and Happy Loren Nancarrow Day. 😊

  25. susanct1 says:

    Thank you for a wonderful remembrance of your dear Dad. He is in our thoughts today at the bottom of the earth, in New Zealand xo

    • Puja says:

      Awwww, little Hannah is beatuiful! You just go ahead and brag all you want! (It’s not braggin’ if it’s true!) ha. Thinking of you, praying for you, and thanking God for you. Love,Liesa

  26. Judy says:

    What a beautiful and sensitively written post….thank you for sharing your thoughts and your feelings with us. Your father will live on forever in the hearts and minds of all who knew and loved him. A very special man with a very special family.

  27. Kathleen says:

    There will never be a 28th of any month or year that I’m not fondly remembering your and San Diego’s beloved Loren… thank you xoxo

  28. Donna Clegg says:

    Loren’s wisdom often guided my planting, gardening, weather insights… Today his wisdom brightened my spirit. Thanks Hannah.

  29. Teresa Egan says:

    I admired Loren on the tv for many years. Peace to you and your family.

  30. Diane Middleton says:

    Thank you, Thank you, Thank you….Words to live by…Your dad will always be with you…He is so proud of his beautiful family…God Bless you Nancarrow Family…

  31. Jane McGill says:

    Thank you for sharing. I miss you and your dad’s blogs. I hope you are all doing well. Hugs.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  32. Linda Crawford says:

    Thank you for sharing these beautiful thoughts and encouraging others. You and your family are blessed with many things, among them – strength and peace.

    I’m sure you’re dad is applauding in Heaven.

  33. Stephen P says:

    thank you Hannah

  34. Beth Linge says:

    Beautifully written, as always!!! I must say, I was born on the 28th (November).

  35. Gloria Jean Bishop says:

    Thank you for continuing to share. As usual it was straight from the hip. Wishing you light, peace and God’s continued blessings to you and The Nancarrow family. A friend in La Mesa :). Happy Loren Nancarrow day!

  36. Cherie says:

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. The Nancarrow family is, indeed, very special and will be forever touched and changed by this past year. May you find some comfort in knowing that your father will be with you and influence every day of your life. That is the wonderful gift that those who we loved so dearly leave with us. May you and the family be well in the coming days, weeks and months…

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