Dad’s second brain surgery was at 7:15 this morning. He did very well and was awake and cracking jokes by 11AM—all while sporting an impressive head bandage (although he refused my plea for a photo shoot).
It’s not yet clear exactly what the fluid in his brain was but we will know more when the pathology results come back. Until then, he’s resting, listening to Native American flute and eagerly waiting to be “sprung” from the hospital.
My Dad was nice enough to hand me down his awesome black Prius (since he isn’t able to drive following brain surgeries). As I rushed down to the hospital in his car this morning, I was in a bit of a fender bender (which I haven’t revealed to Dad yet—so this post may serve as a barrier between me and his impending lecture).
I hurried to gather all my information from the glovebox and was panicked to realize my insurance card was missing. My first instinct was to call dad to save me—then I was struck with the horrible realization that I couldn’t. I did, eventually, find the paperwork but that terrible feeling of not being able to reach him stays with me.
I need my dad here. I need him here to tell me that my insurance card is in the center console. I need him here to talk me through taking pictures, filing a police report and getting the other drivers’ information. And I need him here to scold me on the perils of driving too fast. I may not be able to cure cancer but I’ll be damned if I don’t do everything in my power to keep my dad here for as long as I possibly can.
So Dad, I’m sorry about the car—but I’ve never in my life looked so forward or been so grateful to have you here to lecture me.
P.S. Dad: The accident was totally not my fault.
Hannah
Hannah Jane Nancarrow is a San Diego State University alumni, with a B.A. in journalism and new media. After graduating in 2011, Hannah worked in local T.V. news before her dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Hannah managed and contributed to her dad’s incredibly popular blog (thenancarrowproject.com) and social media platforms before he passed away, after 11 months of bravely battling and blogging. The diagnosis was a catalyst for her own writing and for following each whim and dream. Today, Hannah writes her own blog and has been a keynote speaker at San Diego Women's Week, Relay for Life, and a top fundraiser for cancer-related causes throughout San Diego. Hannah also has a passion for health and fitness, since losing 75 pounds in 2011. She earned her Spinning® and group fitness instructor certifications, and teaches weekly cycle classes in Encinitas, California. Hannah also earned her real estate license and works in the family business, Nancarrow Realty Group, in North County San Diego.
The Nancarrow Project 
Thank you for the updates. Loren’s humorous way of blogging was the inspiration to my own cancer blog. We’re with him and behind him in his journey.
Hannah-I pray and hope your dad is here for many many years to lecture, guide and love you.
As someone who lost a parent way too young- well said!
Oops… Excellent job Hannah
Excellant job Hannah
Hannah you brought tears to my eyes. My Dad has been gone almost twenty years now and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him or want to share something with him. Please give your Dad a hug for me. Should you get a lecture, try not to smile. Enjoy it!!
Hannah: You are absolutely a “chip off the old block”. Your blog was refreshing and sincere and wonderful to read. Thank you for stepping up to tell us what is happening to your dad, and with yourself.
Hanna, I met your dad one time back in the early ’80’s at Diego’s in P.B. (It’s called the P.B. Bar & Grill now). He came in with Micheal Tuck. This was back when they both worked at Channel 8 and were relatively new to San Diego. I introduced myself and said to them, “You guys look familiar somehow”. They laughed. I said; “I know you from somewhere”. Then they laughed again and mentioned their jobs at Channel 8. “Ohh, that’s right” I said. We shook hands and that was the last time I’d seen either of them… except on the tube. Naturally, I wish your dad well and for a miracle to happen and for him to recover fully. I believe in God and that any and ALL miracles come from Him. They always do. All the best to your family dear. Love, Norm Russell.
Hanna, Let your Dad scold you as much as he wants. This is what parents live for.
Judy
Hannah, I’m smiling while reading this. I’m sure that your Dad will tell you “it’s just a car. You’re okay and the car can be repaired. That’s all that matters.” I am SO pulling for your Dad and your family. I lost my own Dad to cancer when he was 38 and I was 14. I can completely relate to your story. We all need our Dad’s. Whether we are 4, 14, 34 or 54! I am glad that you two share such a close bond. It will help you both to get through this. I hope they spring him soon! I can’t wait to hear about his travels in the RV. I think that’s such a fantastic thing for him! I’m keeping you all in my thoughts and sending positive, healing energy to your Dad!
Hannah … Thank you for the update. There are so many people in San Diego praying for your dad and your family. As for me? I will be praying for a guardian angel to watch over you as you drive. Remember to not drive faster than your guardian angel can fly!
Just heard about your father. My thoughts are with you, your dad and family. Words can’t express how I feel. It truly saddens me. Prayers with your dad for a speedy recovery. Thanks so much for your beautiful posting
Thanks for the update, Hannah. Trust me whn I say that your Dad means the world to San Diego. We are all behind you (the family) in this path that the Lord has chosen for him. My prayers, our prayers, are with you every one of you as we live vicariously through your written word.
Hannah, I am 43 and thankfully still have my Daddy here with me in this physical world! I too NEED him here. He may drive me crazy at times, but he is my everything and my daughter’s everything.
Sorry for the cars bumping into each other, but it is just a car as long as you were safe!
Thank you for reminding me how deeply I love and again, NEED my Dad! Your strength clearly comes from your beautiful parents!
Hugs to you Hannah…this too is a huge part of the growing up process…it doesn’t end at 18 and it happens with and without our parents.
So glad you were not hurt.
Hannah, I was a cheerleader with your Mom in high school. Been following your Dad’s PROGRESS…I say PROGRESS, b/c staying in the positive is always good. Sorry to hear about your accident. I had a tumor removed on my leg and was told the body naturally wants to fill up the hole w/ something, so fluid can develop there.
So, I just finally watched and cried through your whole interview with Kathleen Bade!! I too have watched you my whole life on TV. I went to school with Susie’s brothers, and used to watch Susie cheer at SDHS. Anyway, You are in my thoughts and prayers!! I too survived cancer. Lymphoma,it’s been 6 yrs now, and as you mentioned in your interview, we are all different and there are so many needs that go unmet in the world of the suffering and sick. I am excited for what the Nancarrow project will do! I am encouraged by your blog, its a really fun read! It also makes me think. Thanks for keepin it real and sharing your story and your life with us!
Oh Hannah, you are so sweet! You bring tears to my eyes! I am praying for your Dad, you and your family. You apparently possess his wit and charm. Hang in there, so many of us love your dad even though we’ve never met him in person.
P.S. I think he’ll go easy on you!
❤
Make sure your dad reads this…he’ll be just as touched as I am. Slow down Hannah. Think of what you are doing. You might not realize it but I’m sure you are in shock. Breathe
Hannah, I agree with the posts before me. You have inherited the gift of writing from your father. Thoughts are coming your way from The Grauer School. I am the Alumni Relations Officer there and I think you’ve taken some classes from us in the past. Your parents and I have many friends in common too. I’m a breast cancer survivor so I know that positive thoughts are very healing. Thinking of your family everyday.
Oh Hannah, how touching and I hope you always have your Dad to turn to. God bless you and all your family, we’re pulling for you. Maxine and Neal
A lovely letter to your father…and us. Thank you. I know he will treasure it.
Glad your Dad’s surgery went well. Your lucky to have him and he’s lucky to have you!
Sent from my iPhone
Bless you Hannah for keeping us updated on your father’s surgery today. It would have been so easy to focus on you and your stressful day. Your posting brought tears to my eyes .
Hannah thank you for the posts. You are a talented writer, and a huge help to your father. You are all in our prayers!
I’m anonymous, did not see that I needed to leave my info.
Hannah thank you for the posts. You are a talented writer, and a huge help to your father. You are all in our prayers! I really do appreciate you writing and keeping us informed. We are all pulling for your dad!
very touching post, thank you. You’re very blessed having him as your dad.
Dear Hannah, Lorraine and I are reading this on our drive into San Francisco from Burlingame. And we both winced at the the same time over news of your dads surgery. We don’t like it one bit, but we know what an obstinate thing he can be. And we are sending our love to him and our prayers to heaven. BUT the really good news is that we both think you are a great writer…with a lovely style and such warmth. Thank you for sharing all of this information with us. We love your dad so much and your mom, too, and we know we will love you the moment we meet you. Please give him our love. Bridget
ISent from my iPhone P
Wow, Hannah. You’re not the little girl I remember from the neighborhood – you’re a beautiful, articulate, thoughtful, inspiring young woman. Our family sends love and hugs to yours.
Beautifully written….and brought me to tears. Thanks for keeping us posted, you are all in our thoughts and prayers, keep up the humor! Great man great family.
Speaking as a dad, first and foremost all he cares about is that you are safe and sound following your fender-bender. Secondly, thanks for posting these updates.
A wonderful letter to your dad….he needs you just as much as you need him to be here and with him while he mends his ” head on collision”….your fender bender will most likely bring a smile to his face and a sigh that his little girl is ok.
Hannah – glad you are okay. glad your dad was cracking jokes early. and most of all, virtually holding you in my arms to let you know that, no matter how old we get, we always need our dad. dads always forgive us our transgressions and make things better. it’s their job. i’m glad you’re fighting for your dad, b/c you know damned well, he’s fighting for you (and your entire family).
❤
Hi Hannah, thank you for the update on your Dad’s surgery. So good of you to keep us updated. Sorry for the fender bender there kiddo. Glad you are okay and that is what is important. Best to your Dad and please…….drive careful. I am thinking good thoughts about everything. Jan
Best thoughts for your dad. I believe him to be a great father…I’m sure he will understand. Lots of people are praying and sending good energy for your father’s recovery
Beautifully written, Hannah. I’m sure you just made your dad very proud of you and touched by your words.
Oh Hannah, you certainly drove home the need we have for our parents, pun intended. If you replay that interview he did with Kathleen Bade the other day, somewhere in there he does a critique of they way you two drive and it’s not a good one. He will NOT be surprised, but grateful you’re ok, like all Dad’s are. Come on Loren, a picture of your new, and probably fashionable head gear. Kisses on that head from me.
Aw what an awesome post and of course it wasn’t your fault sweetie *hugs* !
Just lemme at that other driver, curb, fence, tree, or maybe telephone pole having the audacity to jump out in front of your Dads’ car and we can make them/it sorry together!
Watch it bub.. that’s Loren Nancarrows’ car and HE knows how to eradicate WHITE FLY! You are SO busted.
Thank you Hannah for keeping us posted about your dad,thank God your okey and for sure your dad will be happy that you’re okey too.Hoping and praying for your dad’s full recovery!
Miss Hannah,
What a lovely tribute. Please always remember how much JOY and FUN and LOVE you have infused into your dear dad’s life. You will never be sorry for the attention, affection, and assurance you have given him.
Not many are blessed with such a loving daughter! (My sweet hubby has four boys! What he wouldn’t give for a post like yours!)
Xo
Hannah, it is ok. It is only a car and I am sure you learned something from your experience. Forgive yourself. Accidents are just that accidents. You are a great support for your wonderful father.
Ah,,,,,,you are so sweet Hannah! I’ll bet you 10 to 1, that dinging the car would be the last thing your dad would worry about. As one grows older in life you (your dad) start realizing that things like that have little importance. It doesn’t mean you can be careless, but it does mean that there is much more to life then a fender bender. You are what is important, not the car. Give your self a big hug and learn this early in life rather than later. You are what’s precious to your dad, not the car. 🙂 You can tell him later when he feels better. When you do, watch the smile on his face. It will show love to you and happiness that you weren’t hurt! Even though you don’t know me, hugs to you from me; a mom always, Janie
Dear Hannah, Just remember cars and people can be fixed. Positive thinking will kick this brain tumor’s butt. Hang in there.
What a great post. Brings tears to my eyes.
Rory Cambra
I’m sure you will be forgiven 🙂
I can totally relate to your post, as I lost my dad last year. I find myself wanting to call him for so many reasons, and get heartbroken all over again that he’s not with me. Hugs and prayers go out to your family!!
I’ve been following his progress and reading his wise and wonderful pieces on FB. I hope you get to have him around for a long time.
God’s speed in his total recovery and healing. Oh and drive safely!
Believe it or not Hannah, your dad will be with you forever. I am 57 and there are things I wish I could ask him (he used to be an orthodontist and I would ask all sorts of medical questions because I’m a hypochondriac!) That’s the one thing I miss. So, just be close with your dad, love him like you do, and everything will be alright. Keep your chin up.
Dearest Hannah,
To begin with, thank you for taking the time to keep us updated. There are SO many prayers and good wishes headed in your direction, now and always! As for the fender bender, take a deep breath. The most important thing is that everyone involved is okay 🙂
Sending you all our best!
The Simas Family
Hannah, I am certain, as most parents feel the same way, cars can be replaced, daughters cannot. Glad you are safe, the car can be fixed. Praying for your Dad to be ‘fixed’ also. Thanks for the update. DAF
Awww, Hannah, what a great post………………..I think he will forgive you, lol 🙂 It is nice to see how much you love your Pa……….he is a great guy………….and we do believe it was not your fault 🙂 🙂 🙂
Dear Hannah, These days with new technology and paints, cars can be made to look better than new so I would not worry yourself to much. I’m sure your dad will be happy that you are ok. Our positive thoughts go out to him. He is a real positive thinking trooper. Hope the pathology is what all of you desire. Hershell
Sent via the Samsung Galaxy S™III, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone
Hannah, Thank you so very much for the update, we all here in San Diego seem to look forward from hearing from the your Dad aka Hannah… You make me laugh because I think you realize your in this as much as he is.. Your Dad is blessed to have such a strong and loving family.. and when this day is behind you , I think your Dad will forgive you.. and I believe also it wasn’t your fault.