When is Enough, Enough?

This business of surviving cancer seems silly at times. Many of you will survive — and each of you are my heroes. Many more of us stand far less of a chance. So my question is for those of us with lower odds — when is enough, enough?

I am truly excited for the next step. Together, Susie and I have tried to envision a butterfly’s metamorphosis. As I transform from this world, I hope to be thrilled by what I experience next — but it’s difficult to imagine what that will be. Will it be bright lights and loved ones? Will I be returned to some place I’ve been before? Or is it simply ashes to ashes?

Eleven months into the predicted 1-3 year ordeal. Susie has read me volumes of books to help me prepare for that next step. Right or wrong, the books help me draw strength and I genuinely feel comforted by the idea that good things lie beyond this life. Not knowing what they are is fascinating, albeit frightening — and the question of “when is enough, enough?” continues to haunt me.

The first 6 months made me want to keep living. Our road trips were so full of hope and time seemed almost limitless. But now the reality: I’m no longer the same person and I can feel life slipping away. Each passing day becomes more difficult and some of the things that once brought me so much joy are now missing — like cooking and gardening. And everyday stuff we take for granted, like driving. I really miss driving.

There are also things that remain intact — my family continues to be present, supportive and loving, my friends stay in contact (almost to a fault), I’m still in awe of each December sunset — and an entire city has made me feel like their son.

So, as for my question of when is enough, enough?

The answer is…not today.

Loren

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Photo Credit: Tamilee Webb <3

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333 comments on “When is Enough, Enough?
  1. Moses says:

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  2. Raquel says:

    I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is required to get set
    up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would
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  3. Elke says:

    Hi there! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a team of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche.
    Your blog provided us valuable information to work on. You have done a outstanding job!

  4. K says:

    hey loren surf’s up. long sunny days, warm ocean waters and clear skies ahead. How’s the weather where you are? write home when you get a chance

  5. Somebody necessarily help to make significantly posts I’d state.
    That is the first time I frequented your website page and thus far?

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    make this particular post incredible. Great job!

  6. Doug Moore says:

    I just heard the sad news today. I lived in gorgeous San Diego for 35 years and Loren was an always welcome visitor to my home, via his many telecasts. Courageous, authentic and interesting until the end, he will be sorely missed. Off you go Loren, you did it your way, and inspired so many in doing so.

  7. Pat Morris says:

    May the soul of Loren Nancarrow rest in peace. God bless his family.

  8. Sharon K. Everingham says:

    When my friend called to tell me Loren died, I burst into tears. Like everyone agrees, he was the best of San Diego! I am a San Diego native, living in Austin. Most of my adult life I enjoyed his weather reports and gardening tips. I sat up into the wee hours last night and read every single blog he wrote. Each one touched my heart. How blessed was his family for having such an incredible man as their father and husband. All of you are in my prayers.

  9. CC says:

    God bless you and your loved ones.
    Some of us hope to be loved by one or two people when we leave this earth…you were loved by an entire city of people and beyond!!!
    See you in paradise :)

  10. Anonymous says:

    I hope you are gardening in Heaven and that the Good Lord lift’s his countenance on your family and friends and gives them strength and peace during this difficult time of loss.

  11. M. Thyssen says:

    Loren, Growing up in San Diego I always watched your weather reports and gardening tips not realizing years later, I would remember your tips and my passion for gardening and the outdoors.

    You will truly be missed.

  12. Loren, although you will never read this post as I learned today that you left this world yesterday. I read the post on Facebook and burst into tears. My husband immediately asked “what’s wrong??”. I was able to blurt out Loren Nancarrow died yesterday!. He had this puzzled look on his face and said “they guy from the news??” and I said “yes, that Loren Nancarrow”. He remained puzzled and said “I didn’t realize that you knew him”. I tried to regain my composure and explained that I didn’t know him personally but felt that I was standing with him through his battle. I felt like I was willing him to survive. He is one of the most wonderful human beings I have never known. I have no idea why his death is affecting me so much but I can’t imagine anyone leaving this earth with more dignity. The only reason he was able to do that is because of his family.

    Loren, I truly hope you find something awesome on the other side. You were a bright spot in our San Diego world and you will be missed by hundreds of thousands of people who loved you and were routing for you every day during your battle. I will think of you every time I plant anything in my garden. Watching it grow will be in honor of you my friend.

    Have a blast in the after-life! Give them hell.

    • V.H, says:

      Beautiful tribute. I cried, too. I have been gone from San Diego for 12 years, but when I think of San Diego and what I experienced there for many years, Loren on TV is among the “good things”. Intergity, zest for life… Loren Nancarrow.

  13. Kristy Griner says:

    Growing up, you were my hero. Every night we gathered around the TV just to see you give the weather report. You inspired me. To this day, I HAVE to watch the weather before bed. I am deeply sadened by your loss, but know you are in heaven, watching the beautiful sunrises and sunsets from above.

    I pray that GOD holds your family tight and holds thier heart as they transition into a life of upholding precious memories of you.

    Love and prayers from Nashville

  14. Kathy Chin says:

    Loren,
    Despite the sadness you’ve left behind, you’ve probably already rolled up your sleeves and volunteered to help out wherever you can in your new surroundings. You’ve got that great smile on your face, and your pain has disappeared. You’ve probably already let each of your family members know that you are doing well in your own special way. Hopefully you talked about it beforehand, and you decided on some kind of sign.

    Loren, knowing you has left us all better people…your easy-going, big-hearted style made us all feel good. Even in brief chats, you made us feel special, like we were important. You were always a bright light and big smile in the newsroom…don’t remember ever seeing you grumpy…even under all the daily stresses.

    You were very special and we all miss you, even if we haven’t seen you in awhile. But your kindness and good works will continue, in the paths you have shown, and by your willingness to share. Hopefully we can show even a small portion of the courage you exhibited as we near our own ends. Thanks for being so open and sharing with all of us.

    Our thoughts and prayers go to your wonderful family…please help to ease their pain!
    We love you!!!

  15. Elisa Brent says:

    PRAYERS to Loren Nancarrow’s family and friends. So glad he is not suffering anymore. We personally know how traumatic brain cancer can be. Rest in peace, Loren!

  16. cobaltbleu1 says:

    Enough. May you rest in peace

  17. darlink says:

    Goodbye Loren. Last night was enough.

  18. Ian says:

    One day, in the not too distant future, cancer will not be some kind of death sentence but will be solved very simply and easily.

  19. Dolores Corona says:

    I remember my late husband always watching and taking notes on your garden tips. You always had a smile on your face, your journey has just begun. May you RIP and fill our heavens with beautiful flowers. Please say hello to my husband, he’s in heaven but not a day goes by without me thinking of him. Prayers to your wife and kids I know you will be deeply missed.

  20. tinarathbone says:

    Love to you, from Andy and Tina Rathbone, in Sunset Cliffs, San Diego.

  21. Jenna says:

    Loren,

    My life verse is “once you know the truth the truth will set you FREE, John 8:32 I pray you ask God to reveal the truth to you and you would be set FREE.

    Jesus is the way, the TRUTH, the life. He loves YOU, died for YOU, rose from the dead for YOU.

    • Anonymous says:

      Praying among all the book that were read were the bible. :) He was a wonder man and will be missed greatly in San Diego!

  22. Lauren Root says:

    Dear Loren,

    I first met you while on strike for Continental Airlines, back in 1981 at our airport then called Lindbergh Field in San Diego. You interviewed a few of us walking the line.

    Fast forward to your move from CBS to ABC and then Fox 5 as weather man, I have been blessed by your enthusiasm and interest in not only the news and weather but your gardening knowledge. I was always in awe of your name, as my name is Lauren. But, so much for the past.

    What I really want to convey to you is the present. I have been a follower of Jesus since 1985 and have come to love Psalm 139. I would encourage you to read it, as it describes our lives from pre-conception to our last days. Only God ever knew and knows our destiny! My heart goes out to you with your bout with this brain tumor, but just your mere blogs are encouragement to many. Thanks for living life, even in your blogs of Cancer!!

    God Bless you and your family. Keep looking UP to the ONE who has us in the Palm of HIS Hands!! As it says in Jeremiah 29:11-13, God has great plans for our lives, not for calamity when we come to HIM with our whole hearts. You may know Jesus personally and you will know I am just sending love on, but if you don’t, please consider the eternal gift HE has for each of us that die to ourselves and follow HIM! Know that this is sent with Love!!!

    Blessings,
    Lauren Root

  23. Terry says:

    Thanks for sharing your life journey with us, Loren. I grew alongside you as you opened to the deeper meaning of life and clouds. Thanks for offering your heart every day in service. Your spirit is vital and lives on through your friends, family, and followers. There is no death.

  24. Mary says:

    May god bless you and your family. I miss seeing you on tv. Much love, Mary B

  25. audrastafford says:

    Merry Christmas Loren! Love and prayers to you and your family!

  26. Connie Vallejo says:

    Loren You are in my prayers everyday… Do know that you have lots people praying for you n your Family, You are not alone We ♥ You n I believe in Miricles Everyday! God bless connie

  27. Can I send you a Christmas card? Not sure of your address
    Kevin

  28. Kelly says:

    Perhaps to rest , perhaps to dream. Love and peace to you and your family. Forever a much-loved and respected part of history both personally and professionally. Well done, good man, well done. The time has come the walrus said….

  29. SAN Greg says:

    Keep the faith Loren! It’s never over until it’s over. Being somber is a waste of precious time; whereas being sanguine can only be a benefit. I guess it’s easy to be an armchair quarterback to say that to someone who is facing mortality in the face, but the fact is we are all mortal. New cures and advances in health sciences spring up everyday – perhaps even a cure soon for the unwanted visitor in your brain. Never give up. You are loved and admired by many!

  30. Adine Bagby says:

    Loren you have been so extremely courageous much like my husband. His battle lasted 3-1/2 years with chemo and radiation and we truly believed we could beat the evil “C”. Through those years “It” metastasized into numerous organs but we still fought believing we would win. It wasn’t until it metastasized back into his liver, that is when I believe he didn’t have the strength to fight anymore. Too many years of chemo and his body was exhausted. In his last days he was speaking to someone or something on the other side and speaking a language not of this world. It was scary for me but also intriguing. I believe the journey continues and there are more adventures that lay ahead for you, my husband and everyone else. Thank you so much for sharing your journey, it has helped me with my own.

  31. Anonymous says:

    Such courage is rare. You are setting a marvelous example to those of us who have or have had cancer and to those fortunate enough to not have cancer. You are showing your wit and determination, as well. You are showing yourself as you are– that is why you are so appreciated in this county. Bravo!!!!

  32. Susan Mayer says:

    I just found you today, wow. I stand inspired to live “my time” with a greater sense of urgency and increased gusto. I have no limitations placed upon me but will not wait. Blessings for you and your family on this journey.

  33. Anonymous says:

    warmest wishes for love and peace to you and your family……

  34. Anonymous says:

    Loved your broadcasts, your commitment and joy during our 17 wonderful years in San Diego! Sending love, hugs,and prayers from San Antonio, Julie and Bob Novak

  35. flypps says:

    Your eloquence inspires and comforts. I was diagnosed with cancer a little over three years ago. The journey since first diagnosed has been life altering and full if emotion. Your strength in taking your personal journey public is a gift to all. I can’t thank you enough for your courageous and comforting words. You have taken your journey and turned into a gift for others. You inspire.

  36. Kristin Wenzel-Timmons says:

    Thoughts and prayers to you and your family during this Holiday Season. May God Bless and Keep you in His care.

  37. Marcia Manna says:

    I think of you and your family often. I wrote the story about you transitioning into a new job for the U-T and interviewed you at your home. You made lemonade with mint leaves, John Gastaldo took wonderful pics and you shared the story about you and the Mrs. going skinny dipping after you quit your job. I left with a kitten your daughter named Little Kim-and I loved her so. You enriched my life in many ways. Sending prayers your way.

  38. dorisk8s says:

    God bless you Loren….we here in Carlsbad are sending you and your family prayers for strength and courage.

  39. Bob Davidson says:

    You are a significant part of San Diego broadcast history. Your reports were always inspirational and your love of the environment is evident. I wish you peace and no suffering. If there is something on the other side, I look forward to your five day forecast.

  40. Rita Petersen says:

    Thank you for sharing your journey. The Lord is with you every step of the way, as you teach the rest of us his love and commitment to all. Merry Christmas from a survivor !

  41. Sending you and your family my love

  42. Susan R. Wise says:

    Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year 2014 to you, dear Loren, beautiful Susie, sweet Hannah, handsome Graham & adorable Britta!! Please know, our dear Lord walks the “path” with you every day and I’m sending my daily prayers for your continued Life enjoyment & many blessings! Much Love & Prayers, Susan & Julian Wise

  43. A Friend says:

    God bless you and your wonderful family.
    You’ve been an inspiration for us all.

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