Midnight Poetry

Well, hello again.

Susie spent the night in my hospital room, reading me ancient poetry from Rumi. He wrote a lot about donkeys and plants. Sadly, the thought occurred to me, I am not that deep. The leap from donkeys and plants to cancer is where I have trouble making the connection.

For example, Susie recited: “Courage: a gazelle turns to face a pack of lions.” Let’s be honest…the gazelle is toast.

What has struck me more acutely is the absolute lack of empathy and awareness I had for others’ suffering…until this beast popped up.

So many of you have shared poignant and, frankely, heartwrenching stories of your own personal journeys. I have been around during those journeys and somehow missed them. I’m not offering any excuses, just to say that my epiphany, thus far, has been to open my eyes to your lives. A friend who crashed his motorcycle on my first day in the hospital and is still in a coma, a coworker who went from his 3-year-old daughter’s birthday party directly to his own father’s devastating MRI results and his mother’s continued chemotherapy. I can’t begin to list the stories you have shared with me over the past 7 days, because there are so damn many of them. Your stories are meant to be lessons and I think I’ve finally heard you.

A purposeful life awaits me, I just hope it’s not too late to do good. I have a family that will focus on what I need to do to get my body healthy. My time will be devoted to opening my eyes in those ways I have been unable…until now. Let’s share some laughs along the way, listen to some good music (like, my boy, Graham Nancarrow) and keep rootin’ for the gazelle.

Loren

animals_beautiful_wild_gazelle_picture-3

Hannah Jane Nancarrow is a San Diego State University alumni, with a B.A. in journalism and new media. After graduating in 2011, Hannah worked in local T.V. news before her dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Hannah managed and contributed to her dad’s incredibly popular blog (thenancarrowproject.com) and social media platforms before he passed away, after 11 months of bravely battling and blogging. The diagnosis was a catalyst for her own writing and for following each whim and dream. Today, Hannah writes her own blog and has been a keynote speaker at San Diego Women's Week, Relay for Life, and a top fundraiser for cancer-related causes throughout San Diego. Hannah also has a passion for health and fitness, since losing 75 pounds in 2011. She earned her Spinning® and group fitness instructor certifications, and teaches weekly cycle classes in Encinitas, California. Hannah also earned her real estate license and works in the family business, Nancarrow Realty Group, in North County San Diego.

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116 comments on “Midnight Poetry
  1. Linda Murphy says:

    Gazelle 1. Lions 0. Go team gazelles.

  2. Amy Hoyt Bennett says:

    I’m with Paul – guardian angles come in all shapes and sizes. You have amazing instincts Loren.
    “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray” -Rumi
    Best, Amy

  3. Laurette Schwab says:

    We all love you so much Loren, and your family you have touched so many lives with your wisdom. I am looking for some cherry tomatoes to plant and I want your helpful tips. Your have always been and will continue to be the best on what spring plants to put on my little balcony. Your friend , Laurette Schwab xoxoxox Keep strong

  4. carol duncan says:

    Loren, my thoughts and prayers are with you and the family, I am going to find some cobalt blue polish tomorrow and Ashley and I will be wearing it.

    warm thoughts are coming your way,
    Carol, william and Ashley Duncan

  5. Jan Thomas says:

    Loren, tuck one truth into your heart. As San Diegan’s have traveled their life journeys you have created & given us wonderful interludes to think about & enjoy through your reports & stories that have come into our homes. Many times those interludes caused us to stop, take a breath & rest during troubling times during those journeys. Those were hugs for us. Now we can return those hugs!

  6. Jan says:

    Hey there Loren!! Sharing a smile with you this day and hope you know so many out here are in your corner. This stg. 4 ovarian cancer of 17 years wishes you well . Yep! 17 years and no recurrence to date . We play the hand we are dealt as if we are holding 4 aces and never, never fold my friend. And hey! I wish I had someone to read me poetry at night. I like that . I watch old gangster movies and good comedy cause the laughs are goodmfor us. Blue skies, sunny days and healthy tomorrows Loren. Jan

  7. Meryl says:

    Loren, Many times people that are purpose driven and have passion for large projects and massive messages,sometimes miss the more ordinary individual everyday struggles around them. Many great leaders have been found to share that aspect.
    None the less there is no reason to beat yourself because the awareness you’re gaining in leaps and bounds is what’s important and the past is gone, there’s only today, for each one of us.
    You’ve had your individual mission and accomplishments and have always stood up for nature and the environment and shared that passion with your family, friends and your viewers. San Diego has needed you and your message.
    Go easy on yourself and be glad you can understand and acknowledge your shortcomings, as most people don’t find it easy to do so. We’re all in your corner.
    I found this story corner you may be interested in perusing:
    http://www.braintumor.org/patients-family-friends/story-corner/

  8. Paul OSullivan says:

    Not so fast, Loren. Even gazelles have guardian angels, my friend. – Paul O’Sullivan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlwzPIUtRPc

  9. Thank you for this reminder. As I lay in bed right now calling in sick to work in very minor pain. I have watched you on local news for years and even seen you out n’ about in town. I pray for your healing and recovery and will have you and your family in my thoughts as the days progress!! Take care of you!

  10. Doris Jaffe says:

    Hello, Loren, You have always been one of my local TV personalities. I canceled my TV service about three years ago so I keep up with news online. May I suggest laughteryoga.org where you can find out about laughter yoga. I am a trained laughter yoga leader. The aim of laughter yoga is to encourage people to laugh for no reason at all – laugh spontaneously followed by deep breathing. There are more than six thousand laughter yoga groups on five continents with many groups in San Diego. It was founded by Dr. Kataria in India in 1995. Laughter is truly the best medicine. It won’t make the cancer go away but if you can force yourself to laugh, especially when you are feeling “down” it will help perk you up. When you laugh you don’t feel pain, anger, or anything. Your brain focuses on laughing. Oxygen goes through all your cells. It’s physically and mentally beneficial to laugh. So despite what’s going on in your body, keep laughing. It really will help. You are in my prayers. Thank you for all the info you shared on you TV shows. I really enjoyed watching you. Be well.
    Doris Jaffe

  11. Hello Loren, You have always been a positive force in all of the lives you’ve interacted with over the years, your sense humor, your compassion and the interest you’ve taken in others always made those around you feel better about themselves and enjoy your company. Oh and your smile always lit up the room, so keep smiling and “go gazelle! go!
    David Holloway

  12. Harriet Carter says:

    I would also recommend Jean Shinoda Bolen’s book, “Close to the Bone.” The first edition came out in 1998 and was one of the best books I’ve ever read about facing life-threatening illness. She then came out with a revised version in 2007 after the death of her son.

  13. Helen Beaupre says:

    The movie “A Doctor” with William Hurt is quite good at portraying the changes one goes through when experiencing cancer first-hand (as opposed to just being a surgeon who removes it). You might find it worthwhile to watch.

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