{Click to listen to Loren read this post: The Forgotten Blog}
I had the greatest idea for my next blog post while I was in the shower this morning. Trouble is—I forgot what it was. That’s one of the new things that I’m experiencing. My short term memory is being zapped by the radiation. I think I set out to write about the way cancer therapy kicks a person’s @$$—and the fact that I was hiding from the side effects. I’ve begun distancing myself from friends and coworkers out of fear of being seen while I’m not at my best. By not at my best—I mean my words are slurred and my hair is falling out (no seriously it is).
Recently, I’d started adding audio to my blog. But with the last 2 posts—I avoided that. I used the excuse that I was too tired, too busy or too [insert cancer excuse here]. But the truth is—I had lost confidence in my voice. My particular tumor was on the left frontal lobe which controls the right side of my body and my speech. I now have very limited use of my right hand—I dropped a watermelon at Seaside Market today for example (shout out to the guys who had to clean it up). And as I continue with radiation, some of my good brain cells (near the evil ones) are caught in the crossfire. Long story short—my speech is on a downhill slide.
We set out to make this blog an honest look at one family’s journey. So, today I’m gonna try again. The changes in my voice will be subtle—but they’re there—and hopefully temporary. So don’t judge me too harshly when you listen to today’s audio version.
Oh now I remember that blog idea I had in the shower this morning! Did you read the Union Tribune article this weekend about the Ramona couple busted for growing medicinal marijuana?! I guess I’ll save that for my next post. Remind me if I forget.
The Nancarrow Project 
❤
Patti (dancing to songs that don't have words)
Good or bad, just keep talking and sharing your journey with us. Your the “real deal” dude!
You sound great, the hand will come back, just takes time. My Mom had 4 fingers that
stopped working and dragged her foot, Remember she is now 90 and 3 years since the same tumor.She is back to normal and baking her pies etc. You will do fine, just keep
up the good attitude. Lots of Prayers and Love.
So good to hear your voice! Stay strong.
Loren, you sound great to me! Try not to sweat the “small stuff”. I’m sure it’s easier said than done, but save your energy for blasting the “bad cells”! I’ve heard that radiation is exhausting and I’ve seen it wipe out my Mom after she went thru it after completing her chemo for breast cancer. She was certain that she wasn’t going to make it thru all of the trials and tribulations. That was 15 years ago! She’s 76 now and doing great.
I appreciate you sharing your journey with us. I’ll bet there isn’t one person following you who hasn’t been affected by cancer in some way. I believe that the more that people share the better off we all are because it takes away the “mystery” behind what it really means to “fight cancer”.
I became a pharmacist because of my Dad’s battle with cancer way back in 1974, when I was a kid. That was in the days of cobalt and other archaic treatments. I swore that I would see an end to cancer in my lifetime. I’m pulling for you!! Try not to “hide” from your family and friends. You’re still YOU and the love and support that they can give will provide you with energy and comfort when you need it the most! Oh, and don’t think that you’re going to get away with dropping watermelons on the floor for long;).
The brain is incredibly “plastic”. A loved one suffered a terrible brain injury and went on to finish her Masters at UCLA a couple of years later and is living a happy, full life 30 years later. My Dad has had 4 strokes in his brain stem — the seat of all vital core function of the body — and damn if he’s not as high functioning as before – which is terrific. In both cases I attribute these miracles to an actively engaged community of supporters and mainly, that both were very proactive in the “walk” back to vibrancy. My Dad constantly tinkers with electronics and is always setting out challenges for himself in spite of brain scans that look (in the words of his neurologist) like “God Shuffled His Feet” or alternately, a “minefield”. I survived a nasty concussion that caused me to go coma for a while. Wait, what were we talking about?!
Oh yeah, you will overcome this. I know it. You know it. Soozie knows it. We all know it. In the meantime, Tell Siri to quit changing the spelling of your words and to take note of your ideas, plans, appointments and everything else.
❤
Loren, You are absolutely amazing. You are an inspiration to people’s life. you’re awesome!
Thanks Loren, I think you sound great. I’m sending your blog to several friends with cancer and who are dealing with all the crummy issues you’re talking about. Keep your good attitude and beat that lousy blob and its cousins.
Dear Loren. You are way too hard on yourself. But being a perfectionist I guess that is natural. You sound just fine, nothing a little tuning won’t help, but that can come later. Love your Blogs, please keep them coming. Prayers and hugs. Jackie
Oh Loren, have been following your blog. I’m 6 years out from breast cancer. The chemo brain is for real. You have always been one of my gardening gurus. It takes a little twisted brain like ours to wrap copper around our sprouting zucchini sprouts to discourage the snails. My garden is going strong and I invite you and Susie to come smell the orange blossoms. I miss your face on tv and pray for you every day. Friends always,
Laura Robbins
I’m addicted to your blogs! Thanks for helping me. I treasure your gifts and am in awe of your willingness to share.
Don’t worry about the voice Loren. Just think of getting over the blob. Everything will be back the way it was when you are through with the treatment. The short term memory loss will also take care of itself so no worries there.Concentrate on what is good and keep smiling. I wish you and your family well!
Thanks for your honesty Loren, and for your comforting voice. Love that you are recording your blogs again. Think of you daily.
Loren- love the blog, made even more real with audio! Thank you for sharing your personal, private journey, it’s a gift most appreciated. I know you hear and feel the changes in your fantastic speaking voice (frankly, I do too); but its like you are used to the Autobahn of communication and right now you’ve been detoured onto a rickety bridge. It’s weird, but you still get there. The good news is, much like when a woman changes her hair style, only the truly tuned in pick up on it. You still sound terrific. So, brave on! Signed, Your #1 Speech Pathologist fan, Deb
Your voice is precious: slurs or not, vocal or not, coherent or not. I am just some random person who has been quietly paying attention all along. You would be astounded if you knew how many of us there really are.
Keep being you. That is inspiration enough.
Hey Buddy,
I continue to follow your journey. You are a Rock Star. You offer the strong and courageous voice of a fighter. My voice should only be as strong. Will send a bunch of blue nail photos of friends I have been collecting. This sucks, but I KNOW you will kick its Ass. Hope to see you soon, when you are up to it. Strange, I dropped a watermelon today as well, there was another $3.97 down the drain, I had to clean it up myself. Love you man!
You are the coolest guy on the planet. Who cares if you drop things and your speech is slurred? Well, maybe you do….but not me. Lots of good energy comin your way. Love ya, man.
loved the audio-don’t be too hard on yourself-YOur journey is yours and part of that is hair loss, memory loss voice not up to par and soo much love flowing your way it will all come back.
Beautiful strong voice, Loren. Don’t over think it. We love you anyway we get you.
Love,
Mo
Again always love “Your Voice “, like all not sure what hair left ,.. Ha. And forgot to leave my name ! Go figure ?
It was WONDERFUL hearing your voice ! I have missed seeing you on TV. I have always been a huge Loren Noncarrow fan !
May God bless you & your family
Loren,
Even though you are going thru this… It is part of life’s journey… I don’t know you but I love you and that love stems from the Holy Spirit with in me….. I pray you have less pain and strength to be with people YOU love because they need you even though its hard to get up sometimes… Don’t worry about what your voice sounds like… It’s your Love and strength and advice that you will be remembered for… You are an icon… Pray hard and have faith God (Jesus) is with you… I hope I did not offend you… You are in my prayers.. Right NOW:)
We are all here to listen…..no matter what you sound like…..we are all here with you going through this journey……we all live for the next post……it may get worse before it gets better……you can do this, I promise…..keep on pushing forward we are all right behind you……as the Journey song says….”DON’T STOP BELIEVIN’!” Sending prayers and strength 24/7 coming you way! 🙂
Loren. I love The Voice!!! And ,… What hair ?
Keep thinking positive Loren. I did not have your surgery but I still manage to have the forgetfulness, dropsy . .a perfectly good wine glass full of wine hit a white tile floor yesterday. My prayers are with you for a speedy recovery . . .once you are recovered you will age and start to do some of the same things again but you will have had practice!
Love and hugs,
Dawn
Loren,
Love to hear how your lifes journey has taken you and I hope all the best for you and yours. When I moved up to Sonoma I’m afraid a gauged every weatherman by you- and needless to say, they didn’t stack up. Miss the beautiful San Diego weather and seeing my favorite weatherman- glad to see you’re hanging tough.
Loren,
I need to pray harder for you. A lot of people do, so hopefully everyone reading your blog will do that. But, I just read a beautiful story of a cowboy who had a heart attack on his horse, and went to heaven. He described it as I have heard before. But, he came back and is normal today to tell all about it. While he wanted to stay, he is glad he has a little more time.
I know God is looking after you, so talk to him and all will be just fine, no matter what road he takes you down..
Blessings,
Beth Browne
I am deeply touched by your blog and wish you the very very best. I am interested in hearing your opinion of medical marijuana and will look forward to that.
Still sounds good to me! So soothing to hear your voice again. Thank for sharing your journey with all of us. You and your wonderful family are an inspiration!
You sound really good and very clear to me,with your honest words and bravery, continue on dear Loren and with your family and all your friends praying for our dear Almighty God to heal you completely and help you through this tough journey.We love you Loren!
Wow! I think you sound great! The first time I “heard” your blog, I didn’t think it sounded like you…this time it does!!! And…it is music to my ears! And don’t worry about your memory…we all have CRS (can’t remember sh-t) at times!
Kris
Painted my nails blue today – for you Loren. Healing thoughts –
Your audio blog today was wonderful and listening to your voice today brought great joy!
You are setting such an awesome example to other people!!
Loren Please never apologize. You are a gift to all. The idea of someone (you) sharing your pain, joy, fears, awareness, etc is a gift…pure and simple. Reminder…next blog…medical marijuana! Prayers for a full recovery Warm regards Iris
Iris Hirsch Basecamp Managing Partner 858.945.8198 Iris@irishirsch.com
Oops! I forgot to sign the message below from “Anonymous!” That’s me. Since my tumor, I forget stuff, too.
Loren,
It is your ❤ and humor, not just your voice we enjoy. Jay uses a iPad app called Speak It! It is the only way he can communicate now. He likes it best he can save special phrases! Dynovox is a computer and voice machine that we have too.
Keep it up…You are doing great.
You still sound fine to me, Loren. Like a pro.
Oh and move to Washington for legalized medicinal marijuana!
Just think of losing your memory when you don’t have a brain tumor and you can’t carry on a conversation without some word failing. I would suggest a movie, called Wit, if you are up to it. It’s basically about a woman with advanced cancer and her doctor wants to do this horrid chemo. And the doctors don’t take into account how she feels or wants. Google Wit and you’ll find it.
Loren we arent here to listen to your voice although its a good one, we are here to let you know that you are loved by many so on your bad days you keep the good thoughts going even if you cant always remember them. We love you
Loren, pal, I tried to listen to your audio blog (totally cool idea) but all I could hear was the hissing of some transmission. But, when I read your blog postings I hear your voice — that rich, authoritative voice I remember from when you were at 8 and I’d come by occasionally and do a bit on the 4:30 with Hal and see you in the studio. Keep on writing and, maybe, the next audio post my iMAC will be functioning better.
Loren- truth is….we love hearing your voice regardless of how it sounds, because it is *you*. All of SD takes this journey with you. Your words, and the words of Susie and Hannah, will be a comfort to soooo many people who will take this same journey, or one that is so similiar. Much love to you all and thank you for the words (both written and heard!)
Hi Loren, I don’t know you personally, however I do know Susie and we have a lot of mutual friends .. You dear Loren are so very, very brave. Your honesty is your voice. Never be afraid for being honest and for being you. Thank you for being you.
Mitzi Lea
I can’t believe how much I look forward to your blogs now! When I haven’t read one in what seems like longer than a week, I feel like I’ve missed the last episode of Mad Men or Californication and that I have to go back and look for it in the feed!
And yes, I did read about the Ramona couple….only minutes after I had driven through little Ramona town. Looking forward to your comments….reminding you in 3, 2, 1…
Loren I love you no matter what, as all your family and friends do. It’s not the voice, or hair (you would have been in big trouble long ago), whether you can carry a watermelon or not. We love the man that dwells inside. Good for you in being honest most importantly yourself and all of us rooting you on. Keeping on truckin dear friend. Love, Hugs, & Kisses
Hey Loren, I forget things even though I don’t have cancer. So you still doing good. I’m praying that there will be no lasting affects. Hope you have a nice Easter with your family. Polly
________________________________
LOVE LOVE LOVE You… Boyfriend!
Susie – you are one incredible woman. You inspire me. XOXO – Sandy
You both move me….. Through such rough terrain allowing us to walk this journey with you …I often shed a tear but you always bring a smile to my heart … Loren, True Grit with humor you often make me blurt of laughter….. Love you both
Love your authenticity shining through in this blog! Stay with it……..it’s refreshing to read and healing too, I hope. Not only for you, but for all of us!
Actually, you sound great…a little less oomph, but still great, clear, succinct.
Praying for God to help you through this tough journey.