Dad’s second brain surgery was at 7:15 this morning. He did very well and was awake and cracking jokes by 11AM—all while sporting an impressive head bandage (although he refused my plea for a photo shoot).
It’s not yet clear exactly what the fluid in his brain was but we will know more when the pathology results come back. Until then, he’s resting, listening to Native American flute and eagerly waiting to be “sprung” from the hospital.
My Dad was nice enough to hand me down his awesome black Prius (since he isn’t able to drive following brain surgeries). As I rushed down to the hospital in his car this morning, I was in a bit of a fender bender (which I haven’t revealed to Dad yet—so this post may serve as a barrier between me and his impending lecture).
I hurried to gather all my information from the glovebox and was panicked to realize my insurance card was missing. My first instinct was to call dad to save me—then I was struck with the horrible realization that I couldn’t. I did, eventually, find the paperwork but that terrible feeling of not being able to reach him stays with me.
I need my dad here. I need him here to tell me that my insurance card is in the center console. I need him here to talk me through taking pictures, filing a police report and getting the other drivers’ information. And I need him here to scold me on the perils of driving too fast. I may not be able to cure cancer but I’ll be damned if I don’t do everything in my power to keep my dad here for as long as I possibly can.
So Dad, I’m sorry about the car—but I’ve never in my life looked so forward or been so grateful to have you here to lecture me.
P.S. Dad: The accident was totally not my fault.
Hannah
Hannah Jane Nancarrow is a San Diego State University alumni, with a B.A. in journalism and new media. After graduating in 2011, Hannah worked in local T.V. news before her dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Hannah managed and contributed to her dad’s incredibly popular blog (thenancarrowproject.com) and social media platforms before he passed away, after 11 months of bravely battling and blogging. The diagnosis was a catalyst for her own writing and for following each whim and dream. Today, Hannah writes her own blog and has been a keynote speaker at San Diego Women's Week, Relay for Life, and a top fundraiser for cancer-related causes throughout San Diego. Hannah also has a passion for health and fitness, since losing 75 pounds in 2011. She earned her Spinning® and group fitness instructor certifications, and teaches weekly cycle classes in Encinitas, California. Hannah also earned her real estate license and works in the family business, Nancarrow Realty Group, in North County San Diego.
The Nancarrow Project 
I was friends with your dad in high school, he was quite the hotty then. Lol. He is so proud of you and the rest of your family. Trust me, he will be relieved that you are ok from the accident. Cars can get fixed easily, people are tougher. At least you have this time together to show each other how much you mean to each other. That is so important. We need to do that all the time, you never know…
Hannah Jane, So brutely honest and endearing update. You are becoming a talented writer, thank you for sharing! love to all of you!
Thank you for the update Hannah. Your dad’s a good man and I’m quite certain that he will understand. Wishing him a speedy recovery!
Oh, and speaking of “speedy”, the ex-cop in me says, “Drive safely Hannah, and maintain your driver’s license, proof of insurance and registration in a readily accessible location at all times!”
This is incredibly beautiful writing, surely with healing power.
Thank you for the update Hannah! Good luck with the scolding!!! Give your Dad lots of love from us all! Jamie
I know how you are feeling. I will share information with your Mom. I was in a little more than a fender bender on Tues and my Durango is totaled. It is the Gods way of telling me that, that part of my life is over now and it is time to move on.
I know your Dad will be happy that you were not hurt. Remember, and I know you do now for sure, cars, etc. can be replaced, people cannot.
Don’t worry about the car…it’s just a material item…you’re okay…that’s all that matters. Hopefully you’ll get your dad’s loving lecture in a day or so…when he is feeling better. In the meantime, you and your family are loved by so many and good wishes are being sent to all of you from near and far. Thanks so much for he update. Judy
Hannah, thank you so much for the update, I have been thinking about your dad all day and hoping that surgery went well. You are such a good writer, just like your dad. Don’t worry about the car, he will just be happy that you are ok! I’m glad that you have each other and I hope that your dad has a speedy recovery!
You and your Dad have an amazing ability to put all things into perspective. Attempt to remain in the present and when the “what-if” hijacks your thoughts, acknowledge it and go back to the present. the present is truly a gift.
Fred
That really really hit me hard. I think we see your dad as the public man we all love and forget before anything, above all else, he’s a very loved and needed dad. He’s your gift that you share with us. Not ours….
Bless your Heart Hannah.I know all to well that feeling. The ,I’m so lost which way to turn feeling.after Losing my Dad to Cancer throat, i started being a little less of a daddys girl and a little more of a mommy’s girl.> this helped me so much to know where things are and how to handle things like the accident and life. Sadly mom passed a year ago to StagE 4 Terminal Breast cancer. Now not having either my parents i am so lost.so yes i am frantic at times. but some how those little naggging and lectures that i never wanted to hear .come to me through out the day.and i smile because i know when i was trying Not to Hear their naggings at me,all along my heart was listening,
Hannah open your heart listen absorb and store everything ,every word ever smile every heart beat and every nagging. one day they will be there for you to comfort and guide you thru everything life throws your way
hugs always ❤
Audrey Wilmot
ps. Tell dad hello for me and mom too.
You are a Beautiful writer, just like your Dad. God will heal him.. just pray.
Hannah, your Dad will be proud that you kept your cool and found everything, i.e., the insurance card, you needed, and made it to the hospital in one piece. And like Sue said, the car is a material thing, it can be replaced. So don’t sweat the small stuff, we’re all praying for you and yours.
(((HUGS)))
Jeannine Hillis
I love your sweet message about your Dad Hannah. He is very lucky to have you and your family. Your message was well said and keep it up! Lots of prayers are coming your Dad’s way.
Adrienne Brown
Oh Hannah, how your words ring true. I think its awesome that you realize all this and have him here to tell how you feel.
Hannah,
Beautifully written. You, your Dad and Mom have taught us all an important lesson about vulnerability and support. I can’t begin to tell you the impact your family’s blogs, posts, FB, etc. have had on everyone.
Our prayer for a full and speedy recovery. The world needs people like you guys!!
Iris
Oh my Hannah,
For all the dads including yours my first response is to hug you and comfort you to reassure your safe regardless of the accident
God knows how very much he loves his baby girl…
Dear Hannah. We never lover our parents more than when we think we are going to lose them. Treasure each and every day you have with them, life is so very short in the long run. I am praying for your dad and the family. He is such an icon her in San Diego, and loved by so many. That has to mean a lot in his recovery. Keep the faith. Love. Hugs, Jackie Owens
My son has brain cancer too, and he needs a “drain” every 6 months or so. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers, and all of you are a very important part of my life. Sending all of you love, hugs and prayers.
Kathleen
God love his ,heart and soul. I’m praying that he will be truly blessed and this horrendous disease is totally removed from his entire body!! Stay STRONG!
Good job Hannah! Keep up the good work. Papa will come through fine! Love and best wishes!!
Hannah, while I read this, I was listening to the Ellen Show. Music came on to introduce a guest – it was the song “You’re Amazing”. How appropriate, because this post tells me you are.
Wow. Brought me to tears. I felt the same way befored Dad passed (different reason altogether) 6 years ago. Well always need our Dad. You have an awesome one, as I did. Ill be sending my best prayers up for you both.
Thank you for keeping us updated. I am sorry about the car, but the accident (or other type of sudden event) does help in defining people’s roles in our lives. May your dad be with you and all of us for many many more years. Love to you all!
God bless you sweet Hannah! Continually praying for your dad and all your amazing family. Thank you for sharing, it really makes one stop and think and put things in perspective.
That was awesome Hannah! So glad you dad is doing well after surgery!
Hannah,
Thanks for your post. You have your Dad’s sensibility. A sense of humor and perspective will take you far. Your Dad IS here, and very present. This has been such a journey for your family. I can only tell you that we all need our Dad’s, and you are fortunate to be able to give him a kiss on the forehead, and crack a joke. Please take care of yourself, while you are taking such amazing care of everything else.
Blessings, love & light,
Barb Decker
Hannah….You are absolutely amazing! Beautifully written blog……all daughters are Daddy’s little girls…..you hang tough….you can do this and will get through this…..your Dad has one heck of a daughter! Don’t Stop Believin’! 🙂
Reblogged this on Hannah Jane Nancarrow.
I am so happy that your dad came through well. I love your post today Hannah. That same feeling came over me about 7 years ago with my dad. It’s a horrible feeling to have. Enjoy every minute of him.
You can really write, Hannah (of course)! I have tears streaming down my face in between giggles thinking about what you kids go through in these situations! I’m pretty sure your dad won’t let you have it! Glad you weren’t hurt, please BE SAFE!!!! HUGS to you all!
Dads are so very special Hannah. I am happy about your fender bender because I am sure that all the little things that happen show us something or make us feel something that will stay with us forever. So very happy he came out of surgery ok and his spirits are up.. Love and prayers to all of you! Tracey & John Cribbs
Beautiful words sweet one. My father in law is in a battle for his life as well and your post is a great reminder for gratitude for what we DO for how ever long that may be. Prayers to you and your family.
Hannah, beautifully written, thanks so much for updating us….lotsa love and prayers to you and your family! Good luck with the lecture too!
Sniffle….sweet girl! I’m laughing through tears. That realization however scary is a blessing for you and your family. You’re so wise and loving to see it.
We will keep praying…that you have MANY more years of lectures and laughter with your amazing dad!
I most definitely hope your dad continues to be there for you for a very long time. Best Wishes…Craig
Hannah Reading your comment about your dad and the fender bender and the feeling of helplessness brought tears to my eyes, you are all a strong family and your closeness is heartwarming, having just (Jan 31) lost a brother (I had 10) to cancer I know the feeling. God Bless you and all your family.
You are all in our thoughts and prayers, Maria
Hannah, the car can be fixed and your Dad WILL be fixed. Thanks for sharing your story and my best to Loren as he climbs the magic stairway to recovery.
A beautiful testimony to all fathers, especially yours. It is so sad that we often do not know what we have until we face losing it. Prayers continue daily for the whole family.
Phew! I’m glad to hear you are not injured from the fender bender, Hannah!
I am a young mother and I remember growing up how I couldn’t wait to move out of my parent’s house and live on my own. No curfews, no lectures, no parents, count me in for all of the above!
Flash forward 10 years after graduating high school, I’m happily married to the love of my life, working an awesome corporate position all the while being a full time mom to a bubbly 6 year old girl.
Becoming a parent has opened my eyes and helped me realize just how great my parents are. All those talks and lectures, though I dreaded every minute of it, in the end, that helped mold me to become the mother I am today. I am so thankful for both of my parents for being there for me through the good and bad, never judging me and always supporting my decisions.
Now I look forward to hanging out with my dad, and love our endless conversations. Cherishing every moment and memory we share together.
Your father is awesome and so lucky to have a daughter like you.
God bless you and your family today and every day.
Hugs*
A. Ngo
Hannah, just glad to hear you are ok… sounds like you might be looking forward to a tiny lecture and a huge hug. Your Dad is very brave and needs your hugs too.
don’t sweat the small stuff!
You are definitely your father’s daughter! God Bless you and your family during this difficult time!
Dad will lecture you BUT – it won’t hurt for too long…. He will be far happier that you are OK! Thank you for the update – all of our best from Oklahoma!!
That is one of the most amazing heart felt write ups I have ever read and reAlly puts into perspective how important family is and how precious life is and to never take anything for granted. You have a GREAT dad and a tremendous fighter and I really was touched by your thoughts
Hannah, thank you so much for the update ~ on both of you!
My love, my thoughts and my prayers continue to be with all of you as you continue on this journey! You are one tough bunch!
Oh Hannah, I know that feeling too well. When I spoke about my Dad at his funeral, the biggest thing I said that hits me is wanting to reach out for his help but he’s no longer here. It has been a year since he passed and it took a long time to come to terms. Take care of yourself and your Dad.
Thank you for sharing this very personal time, I’m sure it hits home for a lot of people. It somehow feels therapeutic to be compassionate. I wish you and your family all the best. You guys are in our prayers.
Chuck P.
Hannah, you and your Dad are lucky to have each other!!!! Well wishes to your family!
The Busalacchis
I couldn’t say it any better than Sue
Lots of love to all of you
Jane
My thoughts and best wishes are with your Dad and your entire family Hannah. Hang in there, keep your chin up and smile on your face. Don’t worry for a second about the car – it’s a material thing, and those can always be replaced. Your head is in the right place – with your Dad.
Lots of love and hugs to you all,
Sue