This business of surviving cancer seems silly at times. Many of you will survive — and each of you are my heroes. Many more of us stand far less of a chance. So my question is for those of us with lower odds — when is enough, enough?
I am truly excited for the next step. Together, Susie and I have tried to envision a butterfly’s metamorphosis. As I transform from this world, I hope to be thrilled by what I experience next — but it’s difficult to imagine what that will be. Will it be bright lights and loved ones? Will I be returned to some place I’ve been before? Or is it simply ashes to ashes?
Eleven months into the predicted 1-3 year ordeal. Susie has read me volumes of books to help me prepare for that next step. Right or wrong, the books help me draw strength and I genuinely feel comforted by the idea that good things lie beyond this life. Not knowing what they are is fascinating, albeit frightening — and the question of “when is enough, enough?” continues to haunt me.
The first 6 months made me want to keep living. Our road trips were so full of hope and time seemed almost limitless. But now the reality: I’m no longer the same person and I can feel life slipping away. Each passing day becomes more difficult and some of the things that once brought me so much joy are now missing — like cooking and gardening. And everyday stuff we take for granted, like driving. I really miss driving.
There are also things that remain intact — my family continues to be present, supportive and loving, my friends stay in contact (almost to a fault), I’m still in awe of each December sunset — and an entire city has made me feel like their son.
So, as for my question of when is enough, enough?
The answer is…not today.
Loren
Photo Credit: Tamilee Webb ❤
The Nancarrow Project 
You haven’t had enough..stay strong…keep the faith..
loren, i read a fantastic book written by a doctor. it’s called “proof of heaven.” i highly recommend it. i’m praying for your family and you. bless you. greg, lavelle and eric snortum
The author is Harvard/Duke trained neurosurgeon (who knows brain tumors!) Dr. Eben Alexander – and we’re bringing him to San Diego on April 26th or 27th – still looking for the perfect venue. Loren, he’s worth the wait!
Any chance you can hurry up the visit?
Marie, My husband also has GBM and we’ve read his book. Will be there!
Thank you Loren Nancarrow for your ability to speak the truth with such clarity and for the relevance of your words even though my life is seemingly less precarious. I have known about your ability to touch lives for many years now. You don’t know me, but when my son was 8 years old (he is now 22), you were his idol. He took every piece of paper he could find to draw weather maps on displaying areas of high and low pressure. Then he would, in Loren Nancarrow style, deliver the weather report. He purchased with his own money Dead Snails Leave No Trails and Dead Daisies Make Me Crazy. He hounded his parents to take him to your book signing and when he came face to face with his hero and told him that he also wanted to be a meteorologist you, in truth and wisdom said “that is wonderful, you should go to college and get a degree…you know, I am not a meteorologist”. It was poignant and served to endear him to you further. How we treasure the way you inspired us then and today.
My dad’s still fighting after 20 years! Stage four now; prostate cancer spread to the liver and 2 major (15 minor) strokes. Still smiling and loving! One more Christmas to celebrate with him! 20 years to be thankful.
…..Not today
God bless you and your family for sharing so much with us. You have helped and given courage to more people than you will ever know.
You are truly an inspiration Loren to so many of us. While our hearts are breaking knowing what you are going through, reading your thoughts helps at times. God will know when enough is enough and I pray at that time it will be peaceful and you will be ready. We love that you are still with us now so obviously it’s not today. Thank you for allowing us to share in your thoughts and feelings.
My friend – Only you have the power to decide when enough is enough! God bless you and your family. Merry Christmas and may the new year bring you peace and understanding!!
Dear Loren,
I’ve contacted you before about my scientist husband who has a GBM tumor grade 4. I feel for what you and your family are going through. I’ve read your posts and this one struck me in another special way. You are starting to wonder about what’s beyond this life. You see, for years I’ve been deeply involved with thousands of people who’ve had near-death experiences. One of them was me. After such a transformative experience, you no longer believe, you KNOW, because you’ve been there – just as real as one of your road trips. No, MORE real. Nothing to fear. If ever you’d like to talk about it, feel free to contact me. There are lots of us here in San Diego.
Wel Love you Loren and your Family,, you are inspirational to all your friends,
Lee and Cathy!!!
I feel like…..I’m fighting cancer with a member of my family. I have seen and felt it with them. I have seen and felt it with you and yours. We are with you brother Loren and your wonderful family.
Hang in there Loren. I also have brain cancer (4 years now), and struggle with it every day. It is so incredibly difficult to convey the feelings we have to others, especially to those who have never had life threatening health issues. I will continue to try and so should you. You have inspired me to continue the fight. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Jeff Michaelson
While it breaks my heart a bit ever time I read your posts, I am uplifted by your upbeat tone and the love that you surround yourself with. You’re a true original, Loren, and you have inspired so many of us. Your courage has given me courage. You’re joy had given me joy. Your selflessness has given me humility. Thanks, dude.
Loren,
You continue to be an inspiration to everyone. Know that you are loved. G0d will determine when enough is enough. Not just yet. You and your family are in my prayers.
This happened to my dad. I’m so sorry.
Loren, you truly are inspirational. All my love and prayers,
Virginia
I know the things waiting for us are beautiful. My Mom passed from cancer in April. Recently my brother had a dream where he called my mom’s cell phone after she passed. She answered. She said to him “Don’t worry about me. Things on the other side are better than I ever imagined”. Loren, you beautiful light you have shown to us will follow and shine even brighter.
Loren, blessings for you and you family. You will know when enough is enough, and I happy that it is now today.
Loren, I admire your courage so very much! Through the years you’ve given so much to San Diego and in this, your greatest fight, you continue to give. Selfishly, I would love to keep you here with us for many, many more years to come. However, the reality is that it’s sounding more and more like this is probably not going to happen. Loren, even when your physical presence is gone, you will never be gone. You’re leaving a legacy of good will and good works behind, and a beautiful family who will carry your life and memory forward. When the end of life on this Earth comes for so many, we can’t look back and say, “Man, I really lived and I can be proud of the positive imprint I’ve left behind.” Loren, you CAN be proud of all you’ve accomplished in your time here and you will live on. You ARE a mover and a shaker, a doer, an innovator, a leader, a lover of life and all it has to offer, an environmentalist who has made a huge difference to our planet, a gardener in so many ways as you’ve not only planted seeds in mother earth, but taught us to do so as well. Hopefully your example will help so many of us to get moving and “live” this life so that we too can say we “did” make a difference, just like our friend and mentor Loren. I love you Loren.. you are an amazing man and spiritual being. Thank you for sharing your life and loves with us!
God knows when enough is enough.. Prayers for you Loren..
Dear Loren……..how your words, and those of your beautiful family, have touched my heart over this past year. YOu are so blessed to have such a loving, caring and precious family……and how very fortunate they are to have YOU!!! I must tell you that I KNOW there is a better life after our spirit leaves our bodies. You will be reunited with all the loved ones that have passed on before you. You will be embraced by a Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, that will welcome you back to their presence…..and congratulate you for the wonderful life you have led, and the wonderful man that you are!! There will be no more pain or suffering or hardships. You will look forward to the day when Susie and your 2 beautiful children join you there. But for now, thank you for living each day to the fullest and for enriching our lives more than you could ever possibly know. I/we are strengthened by your courage and fortitude and by never giving up. We pray for miracles in your life and will continue to send positive thoughts and prayers in you and your family’s behalf.
Although the days are becoming more difficult, you are here for a reason and we are all so blessed that you continue to share your thoughts, hopes, dreams and life with us. You and your entire family endlessly inspire us. When you chose to finally say goodbye, know that you will be missed and your family will be supported and loved. Thank you for being you…
It has been three years since my radiation treatments. I am doing well right now. I have often ask myself that question too and I too say not today.I do hope when Our time come that we will experience the love we have read about and the shows I seen on television. If so It will be great to experience it..So Loren if you precede me it would be great see you there. Love you
Having watched both my parents succumb to cancer, especially having spent the entire last four days — the final four seconds — of my dad’s life with him, I would like to offer a conviction I gained only because of the certainty with which my dad’s death answered that question for all of us who were with him at that moment. Enough is enough when life ends of its own accord, in its own natural time.
Bless you, Loren, for all the joy you’ve brought so many of us. And, hey, thanks for the Loren Nancarrow Christmas tree solution! It works. 🙂
Thank you for sharing, Loren. It is amazing to hear the truth in your words – the hope, the fear, the defeat, and the life. May God continue to grant you and your family peace.
You will never know all the people you have touched so deeply, have made us feel stronger awareness of love and have made our lives and our families lives richer, kinder, stronger, ..just by sharing your life and love with all of us. Love knows no physical boundaries, I love you even though we have never met.
I read your posts and each time you make me proud that I have known you even a little bit. I am fighting cancer too, breast, and still able to work and play and drive –thankfully. I took care of my dad with pancreatic cancer and my sister with breast cancer, driving and cooking were two of the things they missed a lot. I think about what is ahead a lot also. I lost my daughter ten years ago in a car accident and I have been really hoping to have more time with her. Your family seems devoted to you and really cool, you did a great job Loren.
Thanks for teaching me how to live my life to the end. Peace, Jane McGill, THS Sent from my iPhone
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Sir, you are truly an inspiration….
Your spirit, which makes you the special and unique person you are, will continue into something better. Like the butterfly…
I love you, Loren Nancarrow. I’ve never met you personally, but I know the man you are and I am constantly in awe of you. My husband and I think of you every time we watch one of those shamelessly beautiful sunsets, and I keep hoping for a miracle. But you still persist with a positive attitude about the excitement the next step will bring. So, in the final analysis, you ARE a miracle, Loren.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
Loren, your truly my hero! I’ve never met you, but I grew up watching you & loving your smile, your peaceful demeanor. I will continue to pray for you & your family. Hugs & love..Rebecca
I believe when you move into that next phase you become energy… The Universe is one big vibration and your aware of it all…
Thank you, Loren Nancarrow. Glad you are finding peace.
Brilliant.
i lost my 46-y-o brother to cancer three weeks ago tomorrow…we knew it would happen, but it was all so sudden and too soon anyway….so, i agree with you, not today…lots of strength and love your way from Sardinia
Hang in there Loren you give the rest of us such inspiration. We all love you and are praying for you. Bobbie Bohannan
Stay strong So many friends are praying for you, this you know. Maybe you didn’t know how many strangers are also praying for you like me. Since you left the news and weather, so have I. You are in my heart and prayers every day. Today isn’t the right day, but when that day comes know that God has a place better than this on Earth that He can’t wait to show you, unlike anything you can imagine. Our life on Earth is but preparation for eternity. “Be still and know that I am God…” – Psalm 46:10.
Loren your words sadden me but also remind me my own health problems are so miescule when I read your words, I will use your line when I say enough is is enough, then I will say ” not today” thank you Loren
So, we take it all, one day at a time: each morning another new gift and each evening a prayer of thanks. You are truly a gift, Loren…one that I am so very grateful for
Loren, I’ve been wearing this cobalt blue nail polish on my toes since Feb. When I’m asked why blue and always blue? Its because everytime I see that beautiful color it reminds me to keep you in my prayers and dont give up, EVER. I wont ever stop praying for a miracle. You are so loved by me and my family. Please dont give up.
I am inspired by your words and thoughts. God bless you today and every day!
Not yet…
For me too. 🙂
Our prayers and thoughts are with you. God Bless you and your family.
I am having trouble finding the words to express how this made me feel. Sad, of course, but surprisingly uplifted and inspired to know that you and your family are living in the moment, no matter this moment brings. I can tell you that there isn’t a morning or evening that goes by that I don’t walk by your home with my dog and wonder how you are all doing. I’m glad you can feel the community’s love and support. We are all here for you, and I for one am incredibly humbled by your willingness to share these intense private thoughts with strangers. I find myself treating others with more kindness, saying silent thanks more throughout each day and trying to remember that each day is a gift. I wish you peace during this journey. Christine
Clearly not today, or any time soon I hope. Wishing you a Christmas miracle.
God be with you and your family and give you peace….
With you as you transition Loren-your Fallbrook fans here!
Loren,
Only you will know when “Enough is Enough.” I wish you God Speed when you make the decision and Peace and Comfort for your family and friends.
Hugs,
Dianna White
Loren- My heart is breaking for you at this moment. Thank you for being so brave to share this with those of us who have grown up with you. I am so happy you have so much support to help you along, yet my heart is heavy for you and for all of us in San Diego who feel we know you personally, even if we have never met face to face. I believe there is so much more for us beyond this life on Earth and I pray your journey is peaceful and full of hope. XOXO.
You are so from the heart!
Definitely not today
I think you will know when that enough point has arrived, but thanks for every day you are here