Kathleen Bade, my Fox 5 co-anchor at 6 & 10pm, loves to sing and dance. She loves loves loves to sing and dance. As a former ballerina and ASU cheerleader, she’s got championship moves, and she loves singing so much that she breaks into tune during every Fox 5 commercial break and has even been known to belt out a number when she hears a particularly snappy cell phone ringtone. It probably needs to be added here that Kathleen Bade was granted the worst voice ever given to a human being. When she sings, puppies die and angels’ wings fall off. Even when I’ve tried to record it, my recorder refuses to operate. The only way to explain it is to tell you that the sound that comes to mind whenever I hear it is two styrofoam coolers being rubbed together.
Now, on the other hand, Hal clement has a beautiful, melodic voice and I’m happy to say I don’t know whether or not he can dance. Sadly, Hal’s songs don’t hold much relevance to me because he grew up in a generation far from my own rock’n’roll roots. He remembers music well from his vast 78rpm collection. Lest you think I’m just a jerk, you need to know I had lunch with both my present and former work buddies this week and was so glad to hear them being rude and irreverent. In other words, they treated me like they’ve always treated me and it made me happy. On the flip side, I’ve also run into other people recently who want to cover me with shawls and shuffle me into a rocking chairs. Like others who have received unwelcome medical news, I just want to be treated as I was before the news broke.
It’s good to be getting out and seeing people. If we run into one another, feel free to abuse me and make scar jokes. That’s secret code for “I love you, man.”
And if you ever have a chance to hear Kathleen sing— you really shouldn’t miss it.