The Waiting Room Written By: Susie Nancarrow

Two wheelchairs, 1 male and 1 female, 60 something. One metal walker, female, 30 something. Two canes, 2 males, 60 something.The faces deep and resolute.

The caregivers eyes blank and clear as if looking through a lens with no filter.

All walks, all races, all neurological. 

Loren asks if we ‘do nothing’ would he continue to get more tired and just fall deep into sleep eventually? I whisper “I think so” we’re in the waiting room.

 

Real Estate Broker, Owner of NRG, Inc. (Nancarrow Realty Group) we are a boutique Residential Real Estate Group. Focusing on personal relationships, technology and business trends in the real estate market. Most important to me is family, music, work, yoga, fitness, playing guitar. We've recently had our personal world turned upside down with the recent diagnosis of my husband having a malignant brain tumor. Coming from a family of writers, especially him... he's inspired me to write.

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105 comments on “The Waiting Room Written By: Susie Nancarrow
  1. Sally Quenette says:

    Love, prayers, peace and hugs to all of you.

  2. Christina says:

    Oh, I feel that all of our hearts and soulss are in the “waiting room” with you. Prayers to all.

    • Ann Wojtczak says:

      Ah yes, the Waiting Room. Boy did my son Grant hate the waiting room. He waited to be called for his vitals, then back to wait again to be called back for his poisen, the chemo. As much as the nurses were so kind to him and he always walked in and out of the waiting room flashing his movie star smile as if nothing was wrong, but when he waited in the Waiting Room, he would rest his head against my shoulder, pull his hood up over his head and close his eyes as if to sleep and to shut out the Waiting Room. I understand where you are and pray for you each and every day. I understand your journey.

  3. Linda says:

    Hugs to you and the family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    • Susan says:

      This is such a poignant post, written from the heart, courageous share to us all. I feel the love you have for each other and your family.
      Blessings to you all through this journey called life, in all aspects.

  4. susanmay2013 says:

    What a wonderful life you both have lived togehter with your family. Many beautiful fun and funny memories to carry on – thank you for having the courage to share, here, opening your heart in such a vulnerable way. Wishing you great peace.

  5. Anita Lawrence says:

    You are all in my prayers, always.

  6. george milne says:

    When my dad was dying in 1960, we all gradually stopped talking to him, afraid to say what was obvious: he was going to die and probably soon. It was a terrible tension and even now I regret that we left him alone to die. I imagine my Mother talked to him about it, but none of us kids did. We were afraid to talk about it. Now I know it’s good to talk. It’s good to participate. Even if it is painful. When my sister died 6 years ago we talked right up to the end. Actually I talked even after she died. I now know that they hear us even after they have left their bodies. Talk is good. My heart goes out to you all.

  7. Anonymous says:

    … and wake up in Jesus’s arms, Amen!

  8. Ida says:

    You and your family are in my daily morning prayers.
    ida

  9. Bridget says:

    Oh, Susie & Loren…. there are no words I can say to make anything better. Just know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. May strength, peace, laughter, and love fill your days.

  10. Elly Dotseth says:

    Dearest Susie, My heart simply aches for you and your family. Loren will find peace. I know you and your daughter are grieving deeply. The waiting room is a very poinient image. My virtual arms reach out to you all to embrace you during your wait.

  11. lp says:

    Sending healing thoughts to a beautiful family.

  12. Connie says:

    You and Loren are in my thoughts and prayers. Loren is such a source of inspiration and has been, for me since 1982. I will never forget him and his kind words and I’m glad I still have 2 of his poetry books.

    I hope you feel the warmth from all the comments and feel the circle of love surrounding you and holding Loren up in prayer. You both have touched our lives more than you’ll ever know.

    Connie

  13. Jill Parvin says:

    Susie,

    I believe that the hardest part of going through anything major is the waiting room. While you are there, there are all kinds of different degrees of illness and it is hard to see both people who are worse than your loved one and people who are doing better. I have been where you are with my late husband and 25 years of dialysis, transplantation, and COPD. No one understands the incredible stregnth it takes to sit there and not run out. That being said, I encourage you to seek support when you need it and take time to care for yourself during this time. I have always loved Loren and thought he was pretty special and you, in sharing on this blog, are allowing us to share this journey with you and that is pretty special in itself. May the Lord bless you with peace and love during this time and may He lay His healing hand on Loren and bring rest to his body after all it has been through.

  14. Bryn says:

    This is chilling. And far too close to home.

    Thank you for sharing. You are helping many, many more than you could possibly imagine.

  15. Margaret McLean says:

    Beautifully written. Please embrace hospice at this time. You’re already doing a great job but the specialized training and care of hospice staff can ease the suffering of all, by helping to record memories, listen, and treat any uncomfortable symptoms.

    My dad died 4 years ago. Death sucks ass but it is inevitable for all of us. The fact that strangers like me are following the Nancarrow family is a testament that Loren lived his life fully, daily.

    The love you all have never dies. I feel my dad around me all of the time and I am not a religious person.

    Take care, all of you. Keep on loving

    Margaret McLean

  16. Susie , you and I have never met but you know my name. I have left comments before for Loren, but today I thought about you and how you must feel. I have enjoyed ( if that’s the right word) reading the blog, shedding many tears in the doing. Hang in there Susie, it must be so hard to see him suffering. His humor has really held him up, I send love to surround you at this time. it all seems unreal to me. But to you only too real I’m sure. Kiss Loren on the cheek for me and tell him I think about him and, say a little prayer every day

    With love and hugs for you and your family

    Julie

  17. Linda Thayer says:

    The courage your whole family has shown these past few months has been amazing! My thoughts & prayers are w/ you.

  18. edieredmann says:

    God bless you Susie and Loren. Our thoughts and prayers are with you , as you take this journey.

  19. Jeanie Caldwell says:

    One minute at a time! Life does go on! God bless both of you. Prayers going your way.

  20. my heart is with you during this time.

  21. Anonymous says:

    It is wonderful to see such support from family and friends. Love is what gets you through the loneliest of moments. Time is precious. I wish you warm hugs and knowing eyes. The best words in life are unspoken ones. God bless you all.

  22. Dawn says:

    It is true . . .we all must walk this path . . .your family makes me realize that we are not alone in our walk and we are lucky to have loved ones walking with us and people like you who show us how it should be done. Love and hugs, Dawn

  23. Kathy says:

    Our thoughts and prayers for you. God will carry you.

  24. Angela says:

    This is a journey we all must travel one day, but it is so agonizing to see it happening to one so young and vital. Susie, please know that a huge community is thinking of your family, pulling for Loren, and wishing you nothing but peace and an end to suffering. Big hugs from a friend you’ve never met…

  25. Deedee says:

    Susie, I have been in the waiting room
    with my husband as well… If I have one
    Thing to share, it would be to not fear but trust in God. He will carry you, it’s amazing.
    Also, this time is sacred, like childbirth,
    surrounded by people you love. God bless you all…

  26. NSS says:

    Susie, you and your family continue to amaze me with your strengths. There is no preparation for what you’re going through–it’s “on the job training.” As someone else said, it sucks. You have many supporters who care greatly. Try to soak in all of the love that’s being sent your way.

  27. Anonymous says:

    Peace be still. God bless Loren & your family.

  28. erin says:

    It is hard to read this, but I can only imagine how hard it is to hear it. Stay strong.

  29. Marilyn says:

    Our continued prayers, hugs, positive thoughts, chi, karma, and everything else we can throw into that box. God bless you all. Be strong.

  30. Anonymous says:

    Dear Susie, I think of you and Loren everyday and pray that you receive some kind of comfort knowing that you and your family are loved by many. Peggy

  31. Kevin says:

    I am saddened to hear Loren think that way, but I know he is tired. They say God only gives you what you can handle, so it is with this in mind that I sincerely hope Loren continues to handle this and beats this terrible disease. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Susie.

  32. Fran Jenkins says:

    This has been such a stuggle for your family but you don’t realize the blessings and positive feedback you have bestowed on your community. I hope if nothing else this has shown how much Loren and your family is loved.

  33. Cat says:

    Every single moment with each other is precious. I would give pretty much anything to be sitting anywhere with the warrior we lost to cancer. Not a day goes by I don’t talk to or think of her.

    I am keeping hope alive for Loren. If there is a way he will find it. He is so lucky to have his family by his side. So many don’t. It is on each one of us to look out for those who may need a little something and fill that need. It may be a ride to an appt. or a meal and even a trip to the coast to see the waves. Take the time.

    • Mary Jo Gustafson says:

      Susie,
      I hope this doesn’t seem inappropriate, a LONG time ago, before I had my own family, I loved him too. I also LOVED when he found you, his soul mate. Hang in there. You WILL be with him again. Mary Jo Gustafson

      • Anonymous says:

        Are you kidding??? Yes it is inappropriate!!

      • Anonymous says:

        Inappropriate! I’ll say it…

      • NikkiD says:

        So stinking inappropriate. This has nothing to do with you. Believe it or not, No one cares and you’re an attention seeking whore. Crawl back into the hole you crawled out of and leave this loving family alone. I apologize in advance for offending those I’m about to.

  34. NikkiD says:

    Breaking my heart. Love to you all. Big hugs for Loren.

    • Anonymous says:

      I didn’t read your hateful comments until now. Susie and I worked together, she knows how much I adore her… For you to spew such hatred on a forum meant for love and encouragement is beyond INAPPROPRIATE. Shame on you.

      • Anonymous says:

        If there is any confusion… the comment is meant for Nikki D.

      • Anonymous says:

        I have lived in a community of less than 200 people for 14 years. We look after each other and love one another. I am not used to hateful people. I am so sorry my original comment was misunderstood. I wish Loren and Susie easier times and a lot more trips. All of my comments from this point will be sent through God in prayer form, no more posts. God bless you both.

  35. Louise Ganus says:

    Susie, You are a very talented writer among your other gifts. The greatest gift is your love of family. Walter and I are praying for you and yours. As someone else said: We are all in the waiting room and we’re in it together.
    Louise

  36. foxtail56 says:

    Love and prayers to you all. We tread in these unchartered waters ….tough to get through .

  37. jane sparks says:

    Praying for His peace and mercy for all of you.

  38. Cara says:

    With tears in my eyes, I send the entire Nancarrow family LOVE! Please give your big bear of a husband a big hug from me. He was always one to be free with the hugs and to share his positive energy, even with total strangers. Like so many, I wish I could wave my magic wand and make Loren well again. I will continue to keep you all in my thoughts and close to my heart. Love, Cara

  39. Anonymous says:

    Love a and prayers for you and your family.

  40. Lisa Busalacchi says:

    Love and hugs to all of you!

  41. Jody says:

    Susie, thinking of all of you Nancarrow’s, sending you love and prayers, for strength and for laughter to help you get through this horrible ordeal. Special “huggs” for Loren.

  42. Jackie Owens says:

    Dear Susie. It is so east to just give up. The hard part is the constant fighting to stay alive. We all struggle with this at some time in our lives, God never promised us an easy time of it.He only gives us what he knows we can handle, boyI sometimes wonder where he gets his information about how much a person can handle. It does seem he overdoes it at time. But you have to be strong not only for yourself but f or Loren and the family. Women are made of sturdy stuff and I know you have it, you have already shown us just how much/ Please know that there are thousands praying for you all and wishing we could in some way help you at this time in you life. Be brave and sturdy, show your stuff. God bless you all.

  43. Heahter W. says:

    It sucks, no other way to put it. Sorry you and your family are having to go through this!!

    Sending much love and healing thoughts!!

  44. Kat O says:

    Peace be with you and yours. Love and prayers coming your way, you are not alone.

  45. Janie Klein says:

    Susie and Loren, my prayers are with you. You both are an inspiration to all. Your strength and energy have gone out to everyone. May we all be as strong as both of you. Love you, Janie Klein

  46. Darlene Piche says:

    Thinking of you and yours with love……

  47. Prayers for peace, calm, health and strength to your family and all those in the waiting room with you.

  48. We are all in the waiting room, whether we know it or not.
    In this case, ignorance is bliss.

  49. Dianna says:

    The Waiting Room is filled with love just for you and yours….

  50. Linda Gloria says:

    Susie, I’m SO sorry for all that your family is going through. Please know all of you are in my prayers. Please know that all of us love Loren, & respect & love you for caring & loving him. God Bless you. Much love
    Linda

    • Larry Springer says:

      Susie,
      My wife, Devon, and I will continue to be praying with you…
      Larry

      • Mary Jo Gustafson says:

        Just so we are all clear, are you in the waiting room in the E.R.? Or in the waiting room for treatment? All of us wish we could hug you, Susie.

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