Torrey Pines December 25th, 2013

Life is a series of decisions — and over the years I’ve made plenty of decisions, both bad and good, but I’ve paid special attention to the more recent ones. Since February, it seems there are no small decisions. If I follow the “standard of care”, will I live longer? If I lean into the disease and let it take its’ course, will I be more comfortable? I’ve decidedly taken both paths — beginning with radiation and chemo, neither of which felt right to me. And now I’ve come to the next road in my journey, where I’m learning acceptance, and to be at peace with the understanding that my time is extremely limited and what I’ve got (in all likelihood) isn’t going to disappear.

There’s a lot that passes through my mind on these sleepless nights — mostly my family and what comes next. I want to know if Susie, Graham, Hannah and Britta will continue to grow long after all of this. I hope they continue to fight for others’ needs right up until the end of their own needs. I hope they will draw more strength than pain from having experienced this adversity. I hope that they treasure the importance of each day and are understanding of the fleetingness of life. For my wife, I hope she continues to grow and prosper on the path we began together 30 years ago. For my son, I hope for him to realize his childhood dreams and to chase them wildly until he does. For my daughters, I hope boundless happiness.

One of the lessons I’ve learned in life is that happiness lies in discovering your passions and exploring them fiercely. And passions aren’t necessarily big, grand notions. We can also find passion in a rose garden and the smell of a puppy and the writing of a first grader. Wherever they are, whatever they may be, seek out your passions and cultivate them.

And the most important lesson I’ve learned throughout all of this, is that it is far better to do good for others, than to do good for oneself.

As for the question of what’s on the other side — truth is, I don’t know. But I believe that life is energy and energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only change forms. And whatever form I take on next, I just hope my connection to those I love will remain.


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196 comments on “eNeRGy
  1. Tess says:

    Thank you for sharing…

  2. Missing your beautiful face and energy on TV and sending loving thoughts to your wonderful family. Love and prayers, Loren Nancarrow. ❤

  3. Sara says:

    Love your dads words of wisdom. Such an incredible man.
    I had the opportunity to interview Loren for a project I did in college about the green flash.
    He was so kind and giving of his time. I will never forget his generosity or kindness.

  4. Loren will alwayss be a beacon of intelligence and kidnes for me and all who knew him.

  5. Jim Varner says:

    January 24 at 1 pm Dr. Oz will broadcast on the east coast
    I am expecting an old friend will be watching. It’s on FOX. Imagine

  6. Jim Varner says:

    So galant in life and in passing. I reflect in amazement at your words on December 26 so clear and in keeping with my life’s experience. One day I would hope Hannah or Susie you might call on me for sharing. 781-591-9133

  7. Anonymous says:

    Rest in peace Loren. You fought a good fight, Unfortunately it seems that God had some other plans for you. We thoroughly enjoyed your weather/garden segment on the news all
    of those years. You had a charismatic aura about you & you were loved by so many!
    Our thoughts & prayers go out to your family & loved ones. ~ God Bless ~

  8. Kathy Westcott says:

    I lost my Husband from cancer oct 1 he was diognoiced July 2013 died Oct 1, 2013 fastest terrible way to go .

  9. Patricia Mitchell says:

    Loren, you will be greatly missed. Your blog was just a continuation of the gifts you have given to San Diego. Hannah said it best. You are our hero. How blessed we all are to have someone so special to call ” our hero”. In the truest sense . God bless the Nancarrow family .

  10. Molly Webb says:

    Loren’s good messages and energy wil be missed. Love and Hugs to the family!
    From am Old Bay Area to Olivenhain admirer

  11. Anonymous says:

    I celebrate his life and mourn our loss… As soon as you saw his sweet face and heard his voice you knew this was a good strong man living a purpose driven life… We were blessed with his long public career and then doubly blessed as he chose to share his remarkable journey home…

  12. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. It is a great loss to San Diego and to your family.- I will always remember Loren’s tips for roses. My husband who passed away 13 years ago from a brain tumor lived by the rules of Loren for Roses. He will be missed and always remembered. Loren showed courage and strength through this journey.

  13. Kathy Coe says:

    I am so sorry for your loss and your family. However, I know how blessed they must feel at this time knowing that you all made every day as special as you are. The love of my life was taken 5 years ago due to the same diagnosis. Sam was given 3 to 6 months and we decided to make every day as special as we could. Unfortunately he lost his ability to speak, but we made it through. We never know what life will deal us. Continue planting his seeds of his legacy and may God be with you all. Rely on your memories and don’t hesitate to laugh and cry when needed.

  14. Nenette Popiela-West says:

    So sad to read this. Acceptance. Once you’ve accepted where you are with this awful cancer, peace comes. You were at peace. And finally, you are free of pain. You gave us so much while you were on TV and you continued to do so long after the cancer was zapping you of energy. My heart breaks, I so wanted the outcome to be different for you and for Hannah, for your entire family. Sadly,it was not meant to be. Rest in peace Loren. San Diego will always remember the gallant man who so graciously gave so much of himself to the community. Prayers for your beautiful family! I wish them well.♥♥♥

  15. Yve says:

    Here I am, close to twenty years after we met and over 2,000 miles away, just now learning of your passing and your illness. Loren, in the brief times we came in contact it was always because you were giving of yourself to a cause. I’ll never forgot your sincere, yet nonchalant, manner as you took part in fundraising events for survivors of domestic violence. Your family had a true winner in you. I wish them peace; I know you’ve found it.

  16. Diane F. says:

    I will plant a rose bush in your honor, rest in peace Loren, you were loved by all.

  17. Anonymous says:

    I cry reading this and yet I feel your peace. You are a new light in the sky Loren and your smile will be missed down here.

  18. Carolyn L. says:

    Peaceful skies, Loren. Thank you for all the beauty you helped me to see. To Loren’s family: may you always feel his spirit surrounding you with love.

    • Barbara says:

      Loren- May you forever be the garden keeper of healing. Your spirit will always be surrounding all of us in San Diego. You are the richest gift to our city. I would like to come to your remembrance, but unfortunately I have a round of bronchitis. However, I will light a candle for you anyways and say a prayer. I hope that the discovery of the other side is wonderous and beautiful. You are now free!!! Love to the Nancarrows!

  19. Richard says:

    I am really saddened to hear of Loren’s passing, but it is good to read his last comments and how he had come to terms with his illness and with life. I enjoyed his presence on television for many years. He will be missed and we are richer for the gifts he left for us.

  20. Paul H. says:

    Years ago I was walking in a sport department store and out of the blue, Loren was walking towards me to the head of the store to purchase something, I said something like, “I really like your gardening advice on t.v. and you’re a cool guy” he smiled and we shook hands and he said thank you” I walked away feeling better. I really miss him.

  21. Bobbie Cruzen says:

    Loren, you were like sunshine in all of our lives. Now you have transformed into a shining spirit to carry inside of ourselves, one we can feel like a presence, warming us through and through. You made an indelible mark on San Diego that will never rub off. Thank you for your brilliance, your insights, and your humanness too. You were a gift to us all!

  22. gary and betty stewart says:

    so many thoughts and prayers coming your way from us. may you find peace and comfort in the coming days knowing he is watching over you. our deepest sympathy, gary and betty

  23. Helen Donner says:

    Loren will be missed greatly. but i believe he’s in heaven tending to the gardens up their. I learned alot from down through the years. He shared alot of remedies for many things. My prayers are with you Nancarrow family. May God give you strength as you walk on and I know Lorens legacy will live on. God Be with you.

  24. Ilana says:

    Rest in Peace ! You will be missed. Condolences to the Nancarrow family may peace and strength be with you. You fought the noble fight and were so brave in doing so. Thanks for sharing your intermost thoughts with us and may they live on. God has gained a new angel in heaven.

    • Donna Ward says:

      Loren its no surprise to read all your heart touching stories. The news you reported were just wonderful of perfection. You were an inspiring man and always had nice stories to tell. I watched you for twenty plus years.San Diego will miss you so much. But life is full of challenges but you have fought them well. There was never a time in your broadcasting you didn’t mention Susan.. what a great man.. Gone too soon Loren!!!

  25. Rebecca says:

    prayers for the family in this time of grief. please celebrate his life. he was and is a wonderful man with many uplifting spirits and a brave strong face. he will be deeply missed and I’m very heart broken to hear of this news. many prayers for the family and friends. May God Bless You.

  26. Anonymous says:

    Certainly, an extraordinary man. A great man. Loren touched the hearts of many… Keep his garden growing. Live on Loren!

  27. Christopher says:

    A gallant farewell, by a noble being. Bless you for sharing so much joy with us.

  28. Lynn S. says:

    Poignant last blog entries, ideas I subscribe to also. Condolences to the Nancarrow family. I believe you are tilling the soil in another plane, Loren. Enjoy the ride and the eNeRGy!! Hope there are no bugs or pests where you are gardening!! Peace!!

  29. charlotte says:

    we will miss you. hope you are a peace with your other world.may your family be america strong. we will be kinder to all your san diego wonderful people.

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