Well, hello again.
Susie spent the night in my hospital room, reading me ancient poetry from Rumi. He wrote a lot about donkeys and plants. Sadly, the thought occurred to me, I am not that deep. The leap from donkeys and plants to cancer is where I have trouble making the connection.
For example, Susie recited: “Courage: a gazelle turns to face a pack of lions.” Let’s be honest…the gazelle is toast.
What has struck me more acutely is the absolute lack of empathy and awareness I had for others’ suffering…until this beast popped up.
So many of you have shared poignant and, frankely, heartwrenching stories of your own personal journeys. I have been around during those journeys and somehow missed them. I’m not offering any excuses, just to say that my epiphany, thus far, has been to open my eyes to your lives. A friend who crashed his motorcycle on my first day in the hospital and is still in a coma, a coworker who went from his 3-year-old daughter’s birthday party directly to his own father’s devastating MRI results and his mother’s continued chemotherapy. I can’t begin to list the stories you have shared with me over the past 7 days, because there are so damn many of them. Your stories are meant to be lessons and I think I’ve finally heard you.
A purposeful life awaits me, I just hope it’s not too late to do good. I have a family that will focus on what I need to do to get my body healthy. My time will be devoted to opening my eyes in those ways I have been unable…until now. Let’s share some laughs along the way, listen to some good music (like, my boy, Graham Nancarrow) and keep rootin’ for the gazelle.
Loren
Hannah Jane Nancarrow is a San Diego State University alumni, with a B.A. in journalism and new media. After graduating in 2011, Hannah worked in local T.V. news before her dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Hannah managed and contributed to her dad’s incredibly popular blog (thenancarrowproject.com) and social media platforms before he passed away, after 11 months of bravely battling and blogging. The diagnosis was a catalyst for her own writing and for following each whim and dream. Today, Hannah writes her own blog and has been a keynote speaker at San Diego Women's Week, Relay for Life, and a top fundraiser for cancer-related causes throughout San Diego. Hannah also has a passion for health and fitness, since losing 75 pounds in 2011. She earned her Spinning® and group fitness instructor certifications, and teaches weekly cycle classes in Encinitas, California. Hannah also earned her real estate license and works in the family business, Nancarrow Realty Group, in North County San Diego.
The Nancarrow Project 
So happy to hear that you are on the mend!! My husband had a brain tumor about 6 years ago. He survived, and I am praying you will too. A fan
Loren, You have been an inspiration in environmental issues, a teacher of organic gardening techniques, now you are a leader in never ending personal growth. You are clearly a good soul. Go gazelles!
Your sense of humor is still awesome!!
We may have an aquaintence in common. Capt Ron Bird,who piloted for Southwest used to live next door to my father-in-law in Encinitas before he built a home in Olivenhien(sp) said you were a neighbor. Ron was a unique individual. Get better!, go home, best wishes, kr
Loren I thought your wonderful wife could use some levity, from one cancer patient to another. http://pinterest.com/pin/175640454189374328/
You might not remember me, but I met you several times while serving as exec. dir. of the SD Press Club many years ago. With that said, I am praying for you and hoping that you’ll keep your sense of humor and learn from your medical journey. Those of us who have been personally touched by the many ugly faces of cancer have dedicated our lives fighting this monster. My parents started up a chapter of the City of Hope Research Hospital over 45 years ago and now I have taken up the reigns to continue raising funds to find a cure. We raise a lot of money by creating, then selling beautiful greeting cards for a $5 donation. (it really adds up!) 100% of the proceeds go to the City of Hope Pediatrics Oncology Department. Just imagine what it must be like for the little ones to go through what you’re going through. They don’t understand . . . Anyhow, I hope from the bottom of my heart that you recover quickly and enjoy many years to come. If somewhere down the road, you find yourself inspired to help us fight the cause, you’ll guide friends and family to our website (www.hope.is.forever.org) to buy a card or two. There are plenty of happy endings and miracles galore that challenge the big C every day . . . so many of us look for them, are encouraged by them and stay dedicated because of them . . .
May you live every moment of your life. Wish you good health and happiness.
Jer 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Be easy on yourself big guy. When we’re down we’re pretty hard on ourselves. Deep breathing and soon a little gardening. See you at Swamis soon.
each day is new and each day we can learn something else. may your days be filled with improved health and laughter and surprises of the best kind. you are in my prayers. DAF
Loren, My husband worked with you years ago, and we both are from San Diego. He told me you were one of the nicest people he ever worked with! We are elated to know you are on the road to recovery!
When Norman Cousins was DX with cancer in either the 70’s or 80’s, he shared with me his story. Perhaps it might help you. He was DX with a terminal cancer, and they gave him less than a month to live. He did all of the things that Western Medicine offered, and added a few things of his own. He had them bring into his hospital room a DVD player ( yes, that was a while back:)) and he had his friends bring him all of the Marx Brothers movies they could find. The nurses said they could hear him laughing day in and day out, even while visiting with friends. The doctors called him a miracle, as his cancer went into remission. He died about 25 years later, and what he died from was not cancer related. No one knows exactly why his cancer went in to remission, but Norman said it was because he laughed it out. Hang in there!
Loren… your long marriage, your beautiful children, and your loving and concerned friends are all testament to just how good a man you are. Go forward without regrets and with your sense of humor firmly intact. Gumby will help. 🙂
Kris
Loren thank you for sharing and for being upfront and honest as to your feelings of what you are now going through. Its amazing how sometimes we just totally take life for granted. yes it is true that the Gazelle would be toast but then again at that 1 split second the Gazelle could sprint away from the Lions and seek safety. my prayers have been with you as soon as I found out what you’re going through and my prayers will continue
loren…you’re obviously loved by many. don’t short change yourself. you’re a good man and a pleasure to know. thanks for all the info on hurricanes when our sons played baseball together. praying for a smooth recovery.
snortum family
Don’t sell yourself short. I still remember the beautiful bouquet of flowers you all sent after one of my back surgeries and the support you gave to rod after my heart surgery when he didn’t know if I was going to make it or not. You helped him when he was at his weakest and needed kind words from friends. For that I will always be grateful. Be the lion
Loren – I don’t know if you remember me, but our sons surfed against each other in high school and we have shared a love of worms and gardening and progressive politics. I am also part of the poetry scene here in North County, and have been the MC of the Full Moon Poets La Paloma Poetry Slam. Nearly two years ago I was diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer, and, like you, underwent some major surgery. My one year survival odds were 23%. Yet here I am today. It has been an amazing and enlightening journey, which, if you are interested, you can read about here: http://supportswamibruce.blogspot.com/
I would also recommend viewing the lecture by Dr. David Servan-Schreiber on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaDt3AJQ98c He, too had a brain tumor.
In a nutshell, the complementary approach to cancer is two fold:
First, stop feeding the cancer cells by embracing a very “low glycemic” diet, one that avoids spikes in blood sugar that feeds cancer cells. This can be difficult at times, but when one’s life is at stake, one can become highly motivated. Reduce and/or remove all simple sugars from the diet as well as food that quickly turn into sugar (ie, potatoes and bananas, for example) Also get plenty of the “good fats” that is to say, the anti-inflammatory fats. They are very good for you. There is much more to say on this subject, but perhaps we can chat further some day.
Secondly, it is vitally important to support and increase immune function. Our immune system is really our best defense against mutated somatic cells (cancer cells). I believe that (in addition to the dietary changes I just described) the best two ways to increase immune function is:1) by entering deep states of relaxation which is when the immune system does it’s best work. Meditation and particularly guided meditation is the best strategy here, I believe. (lucky for me, I teach yoga and meditation)
And 2) by supporting immune function herbally and nutritionally. I have found that the Asian mushroom species that have been used in Traditional Chinese Medicine (aka, acupuncture) to be perhaps the very best method for this, These species have been used to enhance immune function for hundreds of years, perhaps thousands. Recently (in the last 10-15 years) it has been discovered that, when combined, they seem to work synergistically and really pump up immune function. I have taken a 5 mushroom blend 6 days a week since about a month out from surgery. I really have come to believe they are part of the reason I am still here.
I know this is a lot of information, and it may be too soon to process all this. But when the dust settles, if you want to discuss this more, I have found myself doing just that with others who are involved in the journey with this disease. I have more information to share if you are interested (and guided meditation CDs)
And if you and Susie are into medieval Persian poets, don’t forget Hafiz. And while you are in the neighborhood, maybe a little Kabir, although he is more contemporary. Rabindranath Tagore got me through my hospital stay, so I can relate.
Stay strong, my brother. The invisible web that connects us all becomes apparent in times like this.
Respectfully,
Bruce Stephens
(aka, “Swami bruce”)
Loren; you are only just beginning to realize so many new things about your life. Things will be different now,the roses will smell different now, your family will be so much more important to you now and I could go on on. I am an open heart surgery server, my surgeon told me has no idea why I’m still alive, only by the grace of God. You have been given a second chance at life and there is a reason and you will find it. You are in our prayers nightly. Life holds a whole new meaning to me now and it will you just as soon as you are back on your feet. You and your family will get through this, we will be waiting for your smiling face back on TV soon. God Bless you and your family.
Don’t sell yourself short…
Don’t forget: Green smoothies!
I’ll have you know that gazelle is much more than a meal my friend. He makes you earn what you want, chase it full steam and Go through all kinds of obstacles to get it. So as I see it, that gazelle is a leader, motivator and an inspiration. In other words – he’s you. And he’s not toast … He’s something to toast. So let that cheetah name cancer suck it. He’s going to eat your dust.
Dood, you haven’t done anything wrong – sometimes it just takes a class in ‘special ed’ for us to finally get it. Be yourself, because that’s what everyone loves about you! And if you’re not yourself, poor Suzie’s gonna wonder what the heck she got herself into marrying you!! *humor*
Speaking of, if you ever need a giggle, go to my FB profile – I’m constantly adding ‘funnies’; a very near and dear friend was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on a day not too very soon before you. So I try and post shtuff I know he’ll get a giggle or two from, maybe even a good gafaw!
Hang tight, Sooz
Love your posts and keep them coming! Hey, Loren I am a walking science project and so happy to share that I am post 12 years. You and Susie were stellar in my recovery and I hope to pay it forward in any way I can! Positively, going to listen to that boy of yours and put on my dancing shoes! xo, jane
Loren……As I’ve been going thru my personal journey with cancer for the past 2 years, I’ve learned that part of healing is about having no regrets. Remember, every experience is a life lesson; don’t be so hard on yourself! And it wasn’t that you didn’t hear anyone else’s stories, you just didn’t have anything to relate it to; no fault of your own. It’s the exact same thing when you hear about a friend’s parent who had passed away and you say, “I’m so sorry”, but we don’t really get the pain until we lose a parent of our own. Cancer is life altering on so many levels and I choose to look at it as a positive. You, my friend, are an amazingly strong person who will also get to the point where this journey turns from ugly to positive. Take good care!!!
Loren, you are too modest. You have brought joy, entertainment, seeds of wisdom to so many through your broadcasts, and your dedication to nonprofits and a better San Diego. There are secret recipes to make sure the gazelle whoops those lions – be inspired by our friend Charlotte Mitchell who is living 5 years after a similar diagnosis. Check out her husband’s blog of the adventure at http://www.themitchellstudio.com. When you are up to a car ride, you have an open comp invitation to stay with us at our Pine Hills B&B – surround yourself with nature — you and she have a natural bond. The daffodils are just starting to peek, soon to be followed by quince, cherry, apple, plum, pear and then the iris and lilacs. We’d love to have you come relax. http://www.mountainhighbnb.com.
Hugs, Martha and Scott Baker
You have been living a very purposeful life; you have done lots of good. Just take care of yourself, the taking care of others again can wait until you are healed. Holding you in my heart.
HOW ABOUT WHEN YOU MADE A PLANEFUL OF SAN FRANCISCO FOOTBALL FANS ON THEIR WAY TO NEW ORLEANS HAPPY, BY TALKING TO THEM WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO NEW ORLEANS TO BE UNSEEN! THEY REMEMBERED YOU FROM YOUR TIME ON TV UP THERE, STILL! NOPE, YOU WERE HAPPY TO BE SOMETHING TO THEM! YOU ARE A VERY KIND MAN! AND I WON’T TALK ABOUT THE SECURITY AGENT AT THE AIRPORT AND THE STRIP DOWN! YOU MADE HER DAY, TOO! HAHA! GO NANCARROWS! YOU ARE STRONG!
Loren-don’t get it-good people-crummy news!! Claiming Jeremiah 29:11 for you-it has carried me through when I thought things couldn’t get worse-hope you can find meaning in it for you-love from your
Arkansas sister-in-law-L.
I landed in San Diego at the end of 1980 and have enjoyed watching you on the news ever since. You have been a bright light in the public eye. Never doubt that for a minute.
I too have been through some grueling times. I even wrote a book about it. “JUST FINE: Unmasking Concealed Chronic Illness and Pain.” There are a lot of people in pain out there and there are a lot of people in joy out there. You’ll be in joy again soon. Just you wait.
I’m glad to hear Rumi is your roomie. It’s easy to wax philosophical when you’re in a hospital (my least favorite place on earth) surrounded by survivors trying to hold on and those who love them trying to hold on to them. Rumi is terrific…mostly on a good day!
Keep smiling, keep those you love and who love you near. Keep doing the hokey pokey, because that, Loren, is what it’s all about. You’re going to be fine and dandy. I just know it. — Carol (Carmel Valley)
Loren, So much of what you have said is true, but the one place that you have it wrong is that you have and continue to live a life of purpose. You have done little and big things and touched lives of many just by being who you are. A truly wonderful human being. One small example that you might not remember, but I do with such a deep feeling of thankfulness. My daughter was selling Girl Scout cookies at Von’s in Encinitas. She has Down Syndrome and is not that great at speaking. She asked if you wanted to buy cookie and you said no thank you. But, what was the most awesome thing was that you spent time with her and listened to her anyways. I think you even gave a donation. It doesn’t really matter one way or another, I can’t remember. What was more important was you took the time to listen and acknowledged her as a person. That meant more to me then anything us. Why do you think so many San Diegians love you. It is because you wear you heart on your sleeve for all to see! Take it from someone who has lived through a loved one with a brain tumor. Continue to love and laugh and be the wonderful man that you have always been. Faults and all. Your family, including your San Diego will continue to love you!!
The connection, continue to be that gazelle. They have an awfully mean kick,
and so do you!!
With much love,
Terri McEldowney
Loren, thank you for sharing your intimate life lessons, you have touched many lives and hearts, here’s to good health! Georgia Griffiths
Loren, it is NEVER too late to do anything good. I’m praying for the Lord to heal your body, give you strength and wisdom. God has plans for you….Big plans. This is the time for you to draw near to Him. Talk to Him and then Listen carefully to what He is saying to you.
Philippians 4:7 says it All my friend.
Loren- If you are still in the ICU, look down the hall to one of my dear friends that was in a devastating car wreck yesterday. His name is Clark. He is the Sales Manager of KPRI Radio. He is bad shape. Perhaps pop in and smile. You DO make a difference in all of our lives. You could make a difference in his with your beautiful smile. My are arms are still firmly wrapped around the Nancarrow family. I thank you all for sharing your lives with us. Keep the light burning, Loren!
Family and Humor together are great healers! Lee and Cathy
Insightful words Loren.
Loren,
I beg to disagree that you have been unaware and without empathy. You have always had an open ear and empty glass waiting to be filled..perfect combination for friendship.!! My friend, by simply being the man you are you bring so much to my life and I know many others. You and Susie unknowingly dropped parenting gems just by humbly sharing what did or did not work!! (kids are so organic, there is not one formula) marriage hints just by loving each other and friendship just by being here. Oh and let’s not forget, laughter!!! We have such fun…… (Tats in Kauai !!)
To my mind ..family, animals, friends, nature and a fabulous glass of wine is living a fulfilled life.
Xoxo,
M
You are one of a kind, Loren and a very kind one of a kind. You have made a difference in more lives than you can possibly imagine. With love to you and your family.
Loren, I have always used and taught visualization with amazing results. I suggest you spend time with this and I wish you return to radiant health.
the leap from donkeys & plants… to cancer? maybe that leap isn’t so hard: life can be beautiful, & occasionally, horrifically hard. a mix of both. sometimes we get knocked off our donkeys (a medical crisis would be a great example of that), right into the plants 🙂
please, don’t be too hard on yourself… the most empathetic people out there have truly walked miles inside those proverbial Indian moccasins. empathy is learned. sympathy? oh, sure, most of can feel genuinely sorry for another’s plight (& especially our own, when we’re sitting atop our pity-pots!) but… empathy? we *feel* someone else’s agony because we’ve *experienced* it, ourselves, in some similarly-wrenching way (our family’s poignant story? a life-saving, son-to-father, living donor surgery, 11+ years ago, for a rare orphan disease of the bile duct). standing in-between 2 hospital gurneys… a husband one 1 side of me, our only son on my right? holy organ transplant, batman! in my head, i shook my fist up at God, angry with Him for promising no unbearable burden… accusing Him of crossing the line in our instance, as it *was* so emotionally unbearable (makes for a *horrible* Christian testimony, right?)! it would have been infinitely harder, had there not been thousands of prayers offered up on my guys’ behalf. we’ve no doubt that is what carried us through that terribly difficult time. the gazelle was *almost* toast, but God had a different plan. loren, susie, *ALL* of us are pulling for you, & praying, & asking God to give you perfect peace (which passes all understanding… philippians 4:7).
PS. Maybe you should write a book about your experience/thoughts/feelings. Could be of help to others.
Loren, You’ve lived a life “doing good!” That’s why you are blessed with so many people who care about you and love you. We’re looking forward to you feeling better and getting back to your beautiful life. Lots of love my friend. See you soon.
Loren, you sound positive and motivated, and, TG you haven’t lost your twisted sense of humor. Even tho’ I’ve never personally met you, you have been a very positive source in my life for decades, esp. when you make me laugh. Laughter is very therapeutic, and has been proven to heal, i.e. Norman Cousins.. I’m glad you posted again, I was a little worried. Hey, it could be worse – you could be battling raccoons! LOL Take care, Dear Man. And have Susie bring you in some videos that are so funnny, the tears run down your leg.
even when you’ve done good, better is always a worthy target. onward and upward. best to you
I had a (housecat) named Gazelle. She was toast the first time she escaped out the back door! Yes Loren, no one is immune from life’s tradgedies, but what counts is being there for one another. You have been blessed with an amazing family and friends who really care. Seize the Day!! Your positive attitude, strong loving family and many friends are a lethal weapon against cancer! Stay Strong! Many prayers and positive thoughts are all around you!
Thinking of you.
Loren, I think you have always been kind, ready to listen and share with others. Don’t wear yourself out with any regrets.
Inspiring and inspired words, Loren.
Gazelle’s KICK ASS and always do it gracefully! My motto in life has always been to “be kind, and pay it forward.” Not because of any celestial reward that may or may not be waiting for me, and not for the proverbial “jewels in a crown” – I don’t do BLING. I believe that it’s the right way to live our lives, and to live peacefully among our fellow “earthmates.” Living a life of purpose is what’s important, and you my friend have done so. Keep KICKING ASS like the goat in the Superbowl Doritos Commercial! Namaste – Kimberly
Loren,The Lord takes us through these trials in life and while the journey is challenging He brings comfort and peace. Prov 3:5-6 is a verse I cherish and helps to being perspective in times like this
Kevn
I am one who has long admired you for the purposeful life you have been living.
With hope and caring, I am rooting for the gazelle!