A Blown Fuse and Safe Harbor

An Update From Susie:

Sea Lions barking outside, the sound of water clipping the shore as we rest in Morro Bay. Living in the moment. Loren had fluid drained from his brain on Thursday and was released on Saturday. We left for a drive in our van, Sunday morning. Day One (Sunday) Loren didn’t feel very good…after all he’d just had brain surgery.

We picked up new medication and started down the road when the “beeping” began. The entire day a beep,beep beep in our van. Loud music was the only cure and under ‘normal circumstances’ all would be well. Just can’t categorize this under ‘normal circumstances’… Loren didn’t feel good, my body didn’t cooperate—having symptoms of PMS, irritation, frustration, the VAN WAS BEEPING FOR THE love of $#%!

7:00pm we arrived at small hotel in Santa Barbara and after a stressful sleep associated with having brain cancer.  We awakened Monday with a new attitude. Monday morning, we/I dropped off a petition to the Santa Barbara Police Department for ticket issued to us at 7:01 am…Apparently we parked in the “loading zone” but NO parking zone 7:00-9:00am, in front of the hotel, the location they suggested we park. Yes I really did adjust my attitude 🙂 maybe I should have just paid the $53.00 ticket, it didn’t feel right to me.

Actually nothing would feel right to me at that moment, so why not challenge the ticket?

After this, we headed to my favorite store for tool belts and gear: ACE Hardware. Bought a 10 amp fuse and Loren taught me how to determine if the fuse is blown…THE FUSE HAD BLOWN. Corrected the beeping and we were on our way to Hwy 1. We feel good, my sweet man replaced my fuse (again).

Tom Petty blasting on the stereo, ‘California’s been good to me, hope it don’t fall into the sea,” loving life, laughing, reflecting, feeling “normal”. Found a cute little dive on Hwy 1 and slept in Room 3 for the night.

Awakened today, Tuesday 4/23/13, with a stomach ache. Loren battled all day, not feeling good. Once we were on straight road, Loren slept while I drove. I missed my beautiful partner, felt helpless seeing him in pain. During ‘our drive’ today, I stopped and took pictures often, talked to my dear friend Pam, told her I was lost and didn’t care, cried.

Loren slept, I drove through gorgeous Oak Forests, thinking of their roots and their slow sturdy strength.

Now, here we are in Morro Bay, California. Loren wanted a harbor with barking Sea Lions, fog horns, the clang of pulley’s and winches.
We’re in a safe harbor and the blown fuse has been replaced. Tomorrow is a new day. This being human IS a guest house…Thanks Rumi, I’m understanding, memorizing and learning.



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80 comments on “A Blown Fuse and Safe Harbor
  1. Victor says:

    Very nice blog you havve here

  2. linda matthys says:

    I wish I had your strength and sense of humor. My husband was just diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. He retired last year at 55 and the insurance runs out in September. How do you deal with the uncertainty and fear?

  3. Nani Donnell says:

    Susie, we’ve never met but know that I am rooting for you. Big time. Rest when you can. Stay safe

  4. Jackie Owens says:

    Dear Susie & Loren. Your RV ing sounds very interesting. We just returned from a cruise to Santa Barbara, San Francisco & Ensenada. Now that was very relaxing and no beeping from a blown fuse, someone else to do the driving , meals cooked and served by someone else and plenty of it at most anytime you want. Entertainment to enjoy or leave for someone else. Maybe you and Loren should try this next time. Of course it wouldn’t be near as interesting to write about probably. I do like your stories very much and getting off the beaten track can be more fun in a lot of ways. But if you just want to lay back and veg out, try cruising.
    Keep the faith and the stories coming.

  5. Anonymous says:

    IwasDx august 2006 & am still going strong, currently cancer free and feeling ood I had small stroke a couple years ago & am recovering from that, still. My husband is my 24 hour care giver, I couldn’t ask for a better one. He has sacrificed his career & any semblance of normal life to care for me. Blessings & prayers to & your family, think positively, it goes a long way.
    Your sister in the fight,ggod’s love & blessings & my prayers are with you,
    Debbie lemore

  6. Oscar and I traveled the country after we sold the restaurants and had many a blown fuse, rain and thunder storms water in the motor home blown tires and on and on, but we grew closer together and could see what a great country we live in. PMS probably worse because of stress. Live, Love, Laugh, and cry as long as you two are together and such loving family and friends are pulling for you that is the important thing. Hopefully the power of good thoughts and wishes will help you both through.

    With warm love,


  7. Bobbie Cruzen says:

    Dear Susie:
    This being together, yet alone in moments of rest and reflection, is a beautiful description of the relationship you have and how you are both changing as each day arrives with its own challenges and gifts of insight. Thank you Susie for sharing Rumi with us. Whenever I read something of his I see and hear new thoughts that seemingly apply just to that one day. Being overwhelmed and feeling lost is scary yet it is only for that one day so keep breathing and you’ll get through until the next day arrives with new light and the calm you are needing.
    Take care of yourself, as you take care of Lauren! Affectionately, Bobbie C.

  8. Faith says:

    With you in prayer. I am fighting Gliomablastoma and I know what you are going through. God be with the two of you and may He bless you and make you healthy.

  9. Helen Thomas says:

    Love to both of you. Hope your trip gets better each day.

  10. I hope you both start to feel much better. may the road ease pain, disease and loneliness. Thank you for sharing this, I will remember you in my prayers. DAF

  11. Alyssa says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. It reminds me some of my own journey on the sidelines of brain cancer. Never quite know what you are going to get. My BF got 6 years. 5 in remission. The last 10 months of her life we were the closest I have ever been to any human being, including my spouse and children. I did things for her and with her as she battled that I never could have imagine doing for another human. Hope the rest of your trip is filled with good things and great memories.

  12. margaret5300 says:

    Will you be in SF by May 4th? I’m sure you many admirers in the Bay Area would love to honor you at this walk in Golden Gate Park that day:


    Blessings …

  13. Michelle says:

    Thanks for sharing your journey. Susie and Loren, you are not alone. You have so many reading your blog entries that feel as if they’re with you every step of the way. So many of us have a friend or family member that we have been through health challenges with, but we don’t journal it like you have done. Thank you for letting us into your lives as you chronicle the triumphs and the challenges.

  14. PAula Hovey says:

    Wonderful poem sue I love Rumi so true love paula

  15. Pati LaRue says:

    God bless you both with all the strength you need and joy for the journey. Thanks for the Rumi. I think this speaks to so many facets of our lives. Keep on truckin’!!!

  16. foxtail56 says:

    I hope and pray your day is going well. I am just a small part of the people out here cheering Loren on. And remember….The winds of grace are always blowing …just make sure to raise the sails.

  17. Anonymous says:

    There is a saying that “you cannot stop the wind but you can adjust your sail.”
    Good on ya and your crew, Captain Susie! Safe Journey! Audra

  18. Patti Schwab RN says:

    God be with you both on this journey of life. The ability to find joy even in the most difficult of situations is a blessing you both seem to have.

  19. Anonymous says:

    Much love and hope for better days. Lucky to have each other~

  20. Dear Susie and Loren,
    This journey serves to strengthen you both spiritually. May you be delighted in each precious moment and find solace in the beauty of the places you choose to visit. Love always prevails and will always remain. God bless you both. My heart and love and prayers are sent to you daily.

  21. Jacque Glick says:

    God be with you both….I know your pain and anxiety Susie as I, too, left with my husband on a long trip in our RV just 3 months after he had been hospitalized with a stroke….I had to learn how to do all the mechanics and all the driving, but we survived and he lived another 5 ytears during which time we were blessed to travel all of the US except 6 New England states….our love was so strong during those years, strengthened by the struggle it drew us closer than we’d ever been…I will pray that God will help YOU through those anxious moments.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Sending so much love to you and your family Susie……may this trip be all that you both need.

  23. Cathie says:

    A clay pot sitting in the sun will always be a clay pot. It has to go through the white heat of the furnace to become porcelain.
    Mildred Wite Stouven

    Much love and prayers be with you and your family.

  24. I’m so sorry thing’s are moving a little slow right now, I just want u to know that god is with u and your family.Loren is on my church list and there are about 450 people that pray for him ,not only on Sunday day but every day. God bless u now and alway

  25. John says:

    Beautiful update. I never met Loren, but I admire him from a distance. We almost met once, he looked at a home I built that we, my ex girl friend and I, were somewhat desperate to sell. The price was a bit too much for him. We ended up selling it to a very ugly person who caused us a lot of problems and later ended up in prison for theft and fraud. Reading your note has made me think how much better things would have been had he been the buyer. I loved that house and it’s location and I’m sure the two of you would have too. Here’s hoping and preying for the best for you. .

  26. Eileen Jackson says:

    My prayers and blessings go with you. May God watch over you both. I like the ” Guest House”.

  27. gary and betty stewart says:

    blessings and love coming your way on your trip!

  28. Chantal Saipe says:


    Tough days but you are together. Tomorrow is indeed another day. May it be easier on both of you!


    Sent from my iPhone

  29. george milne says:

    One more recommendation: There is a lovely little motel just out of town in Half Moon Bay, on your left going north. It is a Choice or Quality Inn motel. The rooms are really nice. A couple of them are very big, and some are tiny, but all comfy and quiet. It is a good place to stay while you visit San Francisco. You can drive in during the morning and enter the city from the western gateway via Pacifica and South San Francisco, and drive back in the afternoon. I stay there when I visit my sister who lives up in Twin Peaks area in the city. Very pleasant. You can hike about a quarter mile north of the motel (or you can drive it) to a little breakfast place. Very nice. Still jealous…..

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